So you’re in a long distance relationship and things are starting to get stale. You feel that you’re losing connection with your partner and you fear this could damage the relationship you’ve worked so hard to build. What’s more, you’ve never had any past long distance relationships so all of this may be new to you.
Long distance relationships certainly aren’t easy. They take more work and effort than in person relationships. There is a need to maintain consistent communication, to maintain connectedness from miles and miles away.
There are some things you can both do to help keep that connection strong and to be more engaged with each other. The more engaged people are in their long distance relationships, the more successful they are. Here are six things that will put deeper meaning and connection into long distance relationships:
1. Share a Mutual Calendar
This is my favorite. Create a mutual Google calendar and add your daily activities. These can be appointments, meetings time in class, etc…This helps you see your partner’s life. It gives you an idea from a distance of what your partner’s days looks like. It also serves as a great way to know when good times are to engage in contact.
2. Watch TV Mutually
This one is really fun. Pick a TV show or a movie and watch it with each other over the phone or video chat. You will actually feel connected while you do this. Although you’re not physically together, this does give you a higher dynamic of connection than nothing but phone calls. I’ve been in a couple long distance relationships and this has been one of the best tools we’ve used to stay connected. You actually will feel like you and your partner are sharing the experience on a deep level.
3. Video Chat Mutual Masturbation
You read that right. It’s bold and these days it probably isn’t secure, but if you’re willing to not care about that you will have a great time. Trust me.
4. Home made Greeting Cards Or Love Notes
What’s a relationship without something made out of love? The same rule applies to long distance relationships. It’s getting something of physical substance that does it. Think of the excitement of opening a homemade card or a handwritten love note. Taking the extra time to do these small things will go a long way!
5. Surprise Visits
We all know that you can’t sustain long distance relationships without visits. But there’s something so special about a surprise visit. Take a look at your shared calendar and pick a day to travel to see your partner. The excitement of the surprise holds strong power over maintaining a feeling of connectedness.
6. Intensive Texting
Sounds simple enough but long distance relationships require much more communication time than local relationships. This means that it is imperative to stay on top of things. It is something you need to put very high on your priority list. We all love those little reminders that express someone’s love for us. Sometimes going back and forth with a play-by-play of your days makes you feel like you are both “in it” together.
So hop on some of these things TODAY! Your long distance relationship doesn’t have to be going bad to start working toward a stronger feeling of connectedness. Do these things to feel connected all the time. That loving connection that you nurture will stay strong even over the greatest distances.
CJ Westyn is a relationship expert and strategist residing in Princeton, New Jersey and Denver, CO. He is a Date Camp™ Coach and former co-host of dating and relationship talk radio show, Intuidate Radio®.
CJ holds an M.A. in Rehabilitation Counseling and has spent over 10 years working with couples and individuals on a broad variety of relationship issues.
CJ’s mission is to use his writing and untamed sense of humor to add value to the dating advice world by delivering helpful digital content. He strives to move people forward as he guides them through overcoming the uncomfortable yet inherent challenges we are dealt by the human condition (You know, when “life gets in the way”).
CJ’s aim is to also raise awareness surrounding cultural mores and standards that are congruent with human biology yet have earned negative value judgment due to sociocultural human constructs such as religion, ethics and tradition.
In addition to dating advice, CJ spends significant time writing comedy and performing elaborate practical jokes. In his spare time, he watches plenty of Andy Kaufman videos (for inspiration) and audits classes at Princeton University.