The title of this article was going to be called ‘Three in the bed and the little one said…’ because often when dating single dads, this potential partner’s children could be the key consideration for the structure and frequency of your dates! The childcare arrangements might well determine when you can meet up, what activities you can do and more often than not, if your date’s children don’t like you. That could be the end of your budding relationship!
However, it’s not all doom and gloom, as you may very well be in the same situation, so I suggest searching for someone who will understand what you and your children are going through, because they are going through it too. Alternatively, is it possible to select the ‘I don’t want children’ as a requirement on a dating site, and you will still be left with a wide pool of men to choose from. Try it and see.
Single dad’s don’t stop being funny, warm and kind just because they have children. If anything, their children can bring one of these very characteristics as they are used to being caring and compassionate in the face of the needy toddler, or confused adolescent. The Gingerbread organisation which provides support and advice for single parents, quote statistics that show “Just over a quarter (26 percent) of households with dependent children are single parent families” of these “8 percent are fathers” and “there are 2 million single parents in Britain today”. If you combine these statistics with the fact that “Single fathers are more likely to be widowed than single mothers (12 percent compared with 5 percent of single mothers), and that their children tend to be older, you can begin to think about whether a single dad is right for you. A common phrase I’ve heard is that a single dad comes with “baggage”; not very flattering is it? I want to turn it on it’s head and give you
7 reasons why you should date a single dad:
1. You Get a Glimpse of his Soft Side
A man with children shows a side of himself that can rarely been seen in a new relationship. You can see his natural love and warmth, which he shares with his children, plus how he deals with their tantrums and bad behaviour. It’s hard for him to play a part, if his children will say “why are you acting funny/speaking in a posh voice/pretending you like Chinese food, dad?”
2. You See His Parenting Potential
You can witness what a great father he is, and what a great father figure he could be for your own children. Both for those women who have children and those wanting to have them with the right partner. It’s rare to be able to get this glimpse into the ‘potential man I could have babies with‘. Here’s your chance!
3. He’s Understanding
The single dad will be more understanding of any problems you have with your ex over childcare arrangements, because he may well have been there too. He might even be able to offer suggestions on how to word things and ease the hand over time friction, as he’s seeing it from the father’s point of view. You’re more likely to listen to him when he makes a point as opposed to your ex that you are constantly rowing with.
4. He Won’t Rush You Into a Relationship
A single dad may want to take things slowly and get to know you well, because of the potential impact on introducing a new person to his children. This can mean, you’re not under pressure to sleep with him, and you may reach a deeper level emotionally with this man, due to him wanting to be sure you can relate to his children on some level.
5. It’s Fun
As a parent, it’s amazing how many fun things you can do with kids. You can often pretend an activity is for them, when actually they are only accompanying you! Going out with a single dad and his children, allows you to re-discover the fun in simple things whether it’s seeing a kid’s film (Frozen is still one of my favourites), bowling, or Go Ape style activities. These are activities that encourage both adults and children to have fun and laughter, and take you away from problems and the strains of work.
6. He Can Cook
The single dad who has his children for part of the week or weekend, may very well know his way around both the hoover and the kitchen! He is parenting his children in all sense of the word and will have to provide for all their needs during the time he has them. For you, this can mean that when the children aren’t there, he may be cooking lovely meals for you which are actually edible, and allowing you to relax in a house that is clean and tidy. A double whammy!
7. He Won’t Take You for Granted
Since he only gets to go out on occasions when he has a babysitter, or the kids are with their mom, he has a greater appreciation for those times. Therefore, he won’t take for granted the “alone time” he has with you, so he will make more of an effort to make it fun! As a bonus, just remember: if when he spends time with his children on some weekends, you’ll have more freedom to go out with your own friends without having to make excuses!
What are your favorite reasons to date single dads? Leave a comment and let me know!
A highly sought after professional who coaches and enables individuals to take control and change their lives. Paula’s passionate about people and her expertise and determination encourage others to celebrate, and find the best in themselves, both personally and professionally. You can find out more about her and her services on her Website.