Relationship and dating dilemmas are a constant discussion on my advice column and in my coaching sessions, but one of the first things that women complain about is how many men cheat on their partners! “It’s an epidemic;” according to scorned women everywhere. This ongoing problem is causing all sorts of self esteem issues, jealous rages and “Fatal Attraction” bunny boiling reactions within the female population.
(Yes guys, we know women cheat on you too but today we are talking about how women need to deal with this scenario. I will also do an article for men regarding this topic as well. )
Why are Men Cheating?
The best answer is because they can! If women were not available to cheat with someone who was already in a relationship, this wouldn’t be a rampant problem would it? If women respected other women rather than making this particular guy a priority, it would be a lot harder for men to step out on their partnerships.
Of course not all people reveal the truth about their relationship status and it is possible to be lured into someone’s seductive charms unknowing of their committed situation. This is why it is better to slow things down before you jump into their bed after only knowing them for one or two nights. There is a lot of pressure for women to sleep with a guy right away these days but you don’t know anything about him yet; he could have a lot of secrets! There are many red flags in the beginning if you pay attention. Don’t be that person who pretends you didn’t know he had a girlfriend or wife at home!
What are some of the reasons women cheat with unavailable men?
- They are lonely.
- Low self esteem and body image issues.
- They seldom date or meet men and are easily available when a man shows interest.
- Due to boredom or being unhappy in their own relationship.
- They are too vulnerable, naive or inexperienced with men.
- They don’t have a conscience with regards to their actions.
- Some women like unavailable men just to have an uncomplicated sexual rendezvous. They are not interested in having a committed partnership.
- Revenge ~ due to a past hurt of it happening to them.
Let’s be honest here ladies and admit that it is usually pretty obvious when a man is in a relationship.
- They are not available for regular date night and you only see them sporadically due to their “busy” That four letter word is a huge red flag in dating scenarios!
- They call you on their time frame and they make the decisions on when and where they see you.
- You never see the inside of their home. (Unless they have a hidden man cave somewhere.)
- They only come to your house or meet you in obscure or uncommon places.
- They may own up that they are in a relationship but they are very unhappy and just waiting for the right time to leave due to children or financial issues. If it’s over ~ it’s over! Don’t get caught up in their BS.
- Your relationship mainly consists of booty call meet ups.
- You seldom meet any of their friends or go out in a group setting.
- They lie a lot because they can’t keep their stories straight.
Allowing yourself to be number 2 in any relationship is never a good thing and is easy to avoid if you are being honest with yourself.
Don’t make excuses for someone when you know in your heart they are lying to you. Respecting yourself first will stop this type of man from venturing towards you as they are experts are reading women and their vulnerabilities. A confident woman seldom has to deal with cheating men because she recognizes her value and would never be a low priority with any love interest.
Ladies we all need to respect other women and “put the shoe on the other foot” more often! The reason there is so much jealousy amongst women is because of our own immoral choices that we have made with some of the men in our lives. If you have cheated in the past you expect that every other woman is capable of doing it also; which is why your radar antennas perk up when any new woman enters your environment.
Many people find fault in others when they feel threatened; but if we all look closely at the reason why, it is within ourselves where the problem lies. If you feel insecure with your partner you need to re-evaluate why you are with them. Lack of trust is inevitably the demise of many relationships and not a healthy environment for love.
So if you are starting to see a pattern with the type of men you are meeting and they are all in relationships; you will need to look closely as to what signals you are sending off to attract these guys towards you. Learn to decipher their comments and body language early on. After awhile they all start to sound the same and use similar lines to get your attention. They are the charmers of all charmers and have learned what gets a woman’s attention quickly. Read between their “pick up lines” and be smart about who you let in to your heart. The last thing you want to do is fall in love with a man who is sharing their bed with someone else. Never be less than #1 in a relationship.