When his sails fail to rise, the reason may very well be with him. But, in some cases, the odd few, the reason may also be with you—sorry. Some men have distinctive sexual appetites, which need to be adequately serviced in order to get turned on. Whether those cravings be frisky, kinky or just super high-maintenance is for you to find out. So, if you think your bedroom powers may need some sexual healing, learn how to become better acquainted with the art of seduction by solving these 5 reasons you’re not turning him on.
1. You’re not Confident
Any man will tell you that confidence is integral to hot sex. If you’re not riding him like a power-tripping cowgirl or using killer Medussa level eye-contact, your confidence may measure low on the steam scale.
Men are incredibly attracted to confidence in bed; it’s a huge turn-on, stronger than just physical beauty on its own. Otherwise, the sex is missing that zing factor, that extra punch, which makes the women extra special and sexy.
Confidence is also linked to how openly you communicate in the sack. “Good sex is about one thing and one thing only: communication”, explains Sex Expert John Devore in his article, “Mind of a Man: Be Better in Bed”. When you boldly guide him through pleasuring you or let him know what feels right, it shows you’re a self-assured babe. You’re a woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to openly share her passion.
But don’t turn into a bossy sex-monster—just be seductively forthcoming about your cravings. In the end, women who radiate with confidence are the ones who create mind- blowing and memorable sex.
2. You’re not Fulfilling His Unique Needs
A pistol in the sheets knows all about catering to a man’s individual needs. Not all men are the same sexually, so why would you treat them the same in bed? Just because your last boyfriend liked that swivel thing you do with his twin nuggets before he busts, doesn’t mean your next partner will be down for this move. It’s like bringing him to a restaurant with only one menu option—so uninteresting! Next!
So live by the mantra that some men have special preferences in bed. And as a good lover, you’ll want to learn about these desires and make them happen—within the cope of your personal boundaries though. Don’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable. There’s a fine line between needing to be more experimental and doing 50 shades of things you wish you hadn’t.
But as long as you’re game for his fantasies, definitely go nuts. You might even learn a few new tricks, who knows.
3. You’re not Enthusiastic
There’s nothing hot about a reluctant partner who’s not in the mood. A woman who robotically opens her legs like it’s a chore is about as sexy as a two-cent hooker with bad breath—okay maybe not that bad, but still a huge turn off!
Have you ever been guilty of careless, lazy sex? You may also know it as star-fishing? That frozen position where you lay idly on the bed and wait for him to finish his business like a zombie in a coma. Yup, that’s the one! Well, that’s a huge erection killer. So, if you think that just getting naked and letting him ogle your goods is enough, it’s definitely not. At all!
Guys can sense when your half into it and want to feel desired and adored. As relationship blogger, Joshua shares, “We may not admit it, but we want to be complimented on our appearance and feel like our woman is physically attracted to us,” he explains in his article, “Ten Things Men Secretly Want From Women”. “No man wants to feel like his woman is doing him a favor by sleeping with him,” he adds.
Now, nobody’s saying you have to always be a fire-rocket, but if every time, there’s no oomph in your jiggie, you may have to start putting in more soul… and moan like you mean it!
4. Your Sex is Repetitive
Sex that’s predictable as a Seinfeld rerun gets dull. And are you surprised? If you keep doing the playing the same moves over and over again, he’s going to crave a different episode. In truth, repetition creates monotony. Suddenly, the sex starts to feel average and lackluster—it just becomes meh. New channel, please!
So how do you salvage a sex routine that’s lost its spark? Get inventive, girl! Sex expert Bobby Box suggests surprising him with a prostate massager to make things more intense and playful. “If you’re a beginner, choose a smaller size toy, so it’s less intimidating, plus lots and lots of lube,” he suggests in his article, “Masturbation To The Next Level With These Male Sex Toys.”
If he’s not into toys, you can always roleplay or change up the scenery. Sex doesn’t always have to happen on the bed, you know… let your imagination run wild!
5. You Skip Foreplay
There’s no law against skipping foreplay, but if you cut the corners too often, it can take a toll on your sex life—or at least his. Guys love BJs, especially when you enjoy giving them.
In the ideal scenario, you’ll be swallowing down his rod like its your last meal. Guys are addicted to deep throwing—it’s basically hitting the orgasmic jackpot. Yet, if you’re wouldn’t exactly call yourself a love-juice- hungry vixen, there’s ways around this.
Sex counsellor R.Esco suggests using flavored lube to make oral sex more enjoyable.” It makes blow jobs yummy and also enhances the overall experience of getting down. Most brands feature fruity flavors, but there are a wide variety of options available such as chocolate, mint or bubble gum,” she says in her article, “Best Personal Lubricants for a Slippery Ride”.
Basically, when you’re loving it, he’s loving it.
By checking off these 5 limp-proof strategies off your list, you’ll stop wondering why you’re missing the mark. So get back in there soldier, and never leave a good orgasm behind.