Your Vibrant Local Singles Scene.
Looking for love doesn’t need to be a chore – Dartford has so much to offer that you’ll have lots of fun along the way.
Looking for love can be a daunting prospect – especially if you’re a little out of practice! If you live in Dartford though, you’re in luck. This vibrant part of Kent has plenty to offer singletons, whether you’re looking for “The One” or just a little bit of fun. So what options should you explore? Here you’ll find out exactly what’s going on in Dartford, so that you can get yourself out there and meet someone new straight away.
Online dating is incredibly popular, no matter your age. With nearly all of us owning smartphones, connecting with fellow singletons can be done with a few swipes – you’re pretty much holding your love life in the palm of your hand. Tinder needs no introduction – and it’s great for people on the go who want to meet someone quickly. There are a great number of other dating sites out there too, such as FreeDating and Plenty of Fish, where you can see at a glance who’s looking for love in your area.
The local nightlife.
Dartford is home to plenty of pubs, bars and clubs – so it’s the perfect place to go if you’re looking to meet someone new on a night out. For a quiet drink, head to The Royal Oak. This pub is just outside of the town centre, making it ideal for those who just want to relax in comfortable surroundings. The Courthouse is slightly livelier, but still has a really welcoming atmosphere.
If you’re in the mood for partying though, you’ve got plenty of other options. The Crush Lounge is a sophisticated bar that really comes alive of an evening, and at the weekend it’s the destination of choice for many of the locals. A night out at Air and Breathe is fun no matter your age – Air is aimed at 18-24 while the more intimate Breathe is a haven for the over-25’s. With so much going on, you’re bound to bump into some fellow singletons on a Dartford night out!
Spend the night with an escort.
For some, the thought of getting out there and meeting someone is really nerve-racking. If that sounds like you, then there’s a solution. An evening with a gorgeous mature escort is the perfect introduction to dating. Perhaps you’re a little rusty after being in a relationship for a long time? Or maybe you’re just a little inexperienced? Whatever your circumstances, your escort will take the time to help you relax. Thanks to her years of experience, she knows exactly how to please a man and she’ll be able to show you how to impress a woman too. After all, who said that learning couldn’t be fun?
Here’s to finding love!
So there you have it – your quick guide to dating in Dartford! There’s no right or wrong way to go about it, just choose what feels right for you. Perhaps love is only a few clicks away? Maybe you prefer to meet someone by chance? Or does a no-strings attached date with an escort tickle your fancy? However you choose to date, Dartford is a really fun place to do it.
Acts of declaration are obviously the new black. Americans are about to celebrate their Declaration of Independence from the UK. The UK just declared their independence from the EU. In the next few weeks, the Republicans and the Democrats will convene to declare their party’s nominee for the US Presidential Election.
Declarations continue as we usher in summer. We declare a détente with winter coats and spring umbrellas in favor of shorts and suntans. We declare that the excitement of the season gives us a great reason to be outside with friends old and new. We declare to take advantage of all the wonders summer has to offer.
There’s one more declaration I suggest to the single dater… declare to take the summer off from online dating.
With the warm season upon us, we not only get to enjoy sunny days but also fun-filled nights full of activity. Summer brings a level of excitement and a great reason to get outside. As a single on the dating scene, taking the summer off from online dating provides several perks:
Meet other singles the old fashioned way.
Going to parties, barbeques, and rooftop bars just scratch the surface of venues to meet single people. Take advantage of meeting the friends of friends too- there’s really nothing wrong with that “set-up”; be open to that possibility.
Be a living and breathing dating profile in real-time.
You can learn a lot from a well-written profile and some smartly chosen photography, but nothing beats experiencing a potential date in person. Hearing the inflection in their voice, replacing the “LOL” with the sounds of real laughter and enjoying the spark that comes with eye contact will have you well on your way to an official first date.
You might just move forward if you look straight ahead as opposed to looking at your smart phone.
Stepping away from the computer and smart phone allows you to connect with actual people. Think of it… the excitement of walking on the street and looking at people instead of checking if your online profile is getting any traction. Doing so will put you in the game that’s around you.
You really have nothing to lose taking the summer off from online dating. Enjoy the possibility of meeting other singles in real time with a backdrop of sunshine and smiles. Take a chance on finding some summer loving in real time… you might just take that seasonal forecast from hot to steamy!
How Much You Should Reveal to a New Partner
Dating is a daunting process as it is – and that’s before you even get around to talking about what turns you on.
Let’s be honest, a first date is a complete minefield. So much can go wrong in a short space of time, and the list of dos and don’ts seems endless. Do you kiss or hug? Do you pay for the meal or agree to split the bill? If you’ve made it past that awkward stage and things are heating up towards the end of the evening, surely there’s nothing else to worry about. If you’re one of the many people with a fetish though, you’ll probably be wondering whether to tell your date about it. So here’s what to do next.
Finding The Right Moment
So, you’ve made it as far as the bedroom, and things are going well. What your new date doesn’t known though, is that you’ve got a foot fetish. Or a tattoo fetish. Or a maybe even a domination and submission fetish – let’s face it, there are too many different ones to count. Whichever one applies to you though, when is an appropriate time to bring it up? Well, one thing’s for sure – not right now. If you’re going to ‘fess up to having a fetish, you’ll need to talk about that before you reach the bedroom. So, let’s rewind a little.
Talk About Things First
Now, bringing up a fetish may seem like a strange thing to do while you’re getting to know each other, but hear us out. In the age of Tinder and online dating, we're rarely going into dates knowing nothing at all about each other. Perhaps you’ve been talking for a while and have built up a bit of a rapport. Maybe your conversations have turned into something a little x-rated. So if you do start talking about what you both like in the bedroom and you feel comfortable in their company – go for it and tell them about some of your fantasies. We’re not saying everything, but just give her a general overview of what you’re into. On the other hand, if things are a little awkward and you’re not sure if the spark is there, don’t bring it up.
Cut Straight To The Chase
If you’re still not sure about how talking about your fetish would go on a first date, then how about a practice run? An evening spent with an escort is the perfect way to experiment with how comfortable you are opening up about your desires. She’ll listen to what you want, and she’ll do all that she can to leave you feeling satisfied. You’ll be able to build up you to the possibility of discussing your fetish with a new lover, and she’ll show you a few ways of pleasing your partner at the same time. So you’ve got no first-date awkwardness to negotiate, and you’ll grow in both confidence and experience.
Satisfy Your Urges, No Matter How Your Date Goes
To answer our original question – it really does depend on the date. If things are moving quite slowly, then don’t mention your fetish. If however, you’re finding that the conversation is getting pretty raunchy and you can see where the night might end up, drop a few little hints. By hiring a VIP escort though, you can fulfill your fantasies and not worry about any adverse reactions. So even if that first date doesn’t go too well, you can still get your fetish fix!
You are ready to go on another date but the last time you went on one it was a disaster. As a matter of fact the last 5 dates have been uneventful and downright aggravating! Bad Dates can include a variety of circumstances dealing with lack of chemistry, blatant rudeness, boredom, narcissistic behavior or something embarrassing that may have happened.
We ALL have our stories:
One guy I had dated a few times went up to use my bathroom, came down 10 minutes later and said he had to leave! WTF? I couldn’t find anything incriminating in my medicine cabinet. Talk about a Seinfeld episode! I went cycling on another first date and spun out in the gravel, fell off my bike & ended up at the hospital! Another memorable time, my date got pissed off at something he didn’t agree with, quickly paid the restaurant bill and didn’t even stop the car to let me out at my front door. I now refer to that as my “tuck & roll” bad date!
Your intuition should always be your number one guide when putting yourself out there into the dating market. If it doesn’t feel right and your gut starts churning, don’t go there! Even a text can show red flags!
10 Things to be Aware of on a First Date:
- Are they attentive to you & are you attracted to them?
- Did they make an effort with their appearance and compliment yours?
- Is the conversation shared equally or does it feel like an interview? Is it all about them?
- Are they respectful and polite throughout the date? What did their body language say?
- Do they make you feel comfortable? Are they playful or too serious?
- Did they follow through on the original date plans and were they on time? Did they cancel or reschedule the date?
- Do they bring up sex right away in early conversations?
- Did they take you to your car or your front door after the date ends?
- How much do you have in common? Does the conversation flow freely or is awkward or forced? (Opposites may attract but they seldom stay together.)
- Are they authentic and interesting? Are you interested in them & really want to see them again? Make sure there is a fit and don’t ignore anything that seems insincere.
What do you do if you are uncomfortable and want to leave when you’re out on a date?
Many people are too nice or shy to say anything controversial when things aren’t going well. It is always a good idea to tell them you have a 2 hour time limit on the first date so that they are aware that you have to be somewhere else. Do not go to their house or let them pick you up until you have established a trust & rapport with them. Always be in control of your entrance and departure in the early stages of meeting someone for safety purposes.
No matter how many texts or phone calls you may have had with them, you still don’t know them yet. (There are some pretty good manipulative writers out there.) Don’t get sucked into their smooth talking ways until you have met them face to face. Eye contact will tell you a lot about a person!
Should you be Honest if your Date is Rude?
Most people do not know how to express themselves when dealing with something like this. If the date is awful they just walk away and let it go as an experience they don’t want to repeat! You could make a difference in their life by tactfully telling them what bothered you and maybe they will learn from it. Some people really don’t know how they come across to others. You may have been put in their path to teach them something about themselves.
Life lessons are not just about what we need to learn about ourselves but also what we can do for someone else.
I was introduced to a guy through a friend who spent our entire first date on the phone. After an hour went by I got up from my seat, went over to the server, paid my share of the bill and left without a word. I am not sure he even noticed. He had no respect for me or my time and didn’t even hold up a finger to silently apologize. It was obviously something he did regularly and thought nothing of it. I was offended but got over it quickly. Don’t waste too much time analyzing bad behavior or take it too personally. It’s their stuff to deal with and some people are just rude; plain and simple.
One of the ways to prevent some disaster dates is by pre-screening and really paying attention to the initial way they interact with you!
- Don’t take their online dating profile as the gospel truth. People lie all the time! Also be aware of your friend or family’s advice about that perfect person they may have for you. Talk to them on the phone first before meeting them and ask the questions that are important to you. Requesting a photo is not unreasonable or shallow. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and everyone has different tastes.
- Use the technology available at your fingertips; Google them!! Most people are on some sort of social media tool like Facebook, Instagram or Twitter. If it’s out there in cyberspace it’s free for the public to see. Protecting yourself is always your number 1 priority!
- Carrie Bradshaw from “Sex and the City,” says that first dates are like job interviews with cocktails. How true is that statement? When applying for a job you are paying attention to what they are saying and what they are offering you. Unfortunately many men & women make the mistake of not really hearing what is being said on the first few dates and could save themselves a lot of time and energy seeing any red flags earlier, rather than later.
- Cocktails may make you loosen up on a date but alcohol changes up what we perceive about a person and how we may be perceived by them. Let’s face it; we’re just a little bolder with liquid courage in our bloodstream. I know it’s easier to face someone new after a few beers or a glass of wine but if you want to get the real version of who they are, coffee is a much better choice on that first date.
Too many embarrassing things happen when alcohol enters the picture too early. (Just watch a few episodes of “The Bachelor or Bachelorette” reality show to see what I mean!)
- Narcissism can be quite common and is super annoying! This is when someone talks about themselves for the entire first date. They brag about their accomplishments, who they know, how much money they have, what type of car they drive and often discuss sex openly and how many people they have slept with! They may as well just have a conversation with themselves in the mirror. Nervousness is one thing but arrogance is another. Caring about another person is the first rule of dating. If it is all about them in the beginning, it probably always will be.
When Planning a First Date:
- Always have an alternative option in case your original plan gets altered due to the weather or something that may be uncomfortable for your date.
- Be organized, follow through and always respect their time. Do not bail last minute on a date because something better may have come up!
- We all have first date insecurities so the more information they have regarding the date particulars will put them at ease because there will be no surprises. They will know what to wear (casual or dressy, heels or runners) if they should eat beforehand and can look up the directions to the meeting location. Ask them if they have any questions or if they are comfortable with the date venue you chose.
- Confirm the date! This is appreciated and proper etiquette, especially if it was discussed a week or two before. It puts them at ease knowing you haven’t forgotten about it and that you are thinking about them & looking forward to seeing them.
Dating can be a great experience if you are smart and observe each scenario with clarity. You will learn how to weed out the wrong types and eventually stop attracting them towards you. Keep an open mind but don’t spend time with people you have no connection with. You shouldn’t have to talk yourself into being with someone!
It should be a natural fit that flows without too many questions or a thousand compromises. Yes, dating is frustrating and hard on your self-esteem, but anything worth having is not always an easy accomplishment. Don’t give up on love; treat it with the same patience & determination as you would with any other goal in your life; it’s always worth the wait and perseverance in the end.
With the rise in popularity from online dating, dating costs can quickly surge become the equivalent of a car payment. The online date prospects come in waves and as such, can empty a suitor’s wallet faster than he can replenish it. We know what you are thinking: Well, the guy doesn’t have to pay. We could argue all day on whether or not the guy should pay for the date, but from a guy’s perspective, that next date could be “the one”. The last thing he wants is her running back to her friends to say with a frown, “He didn’t pay. . .”
If you can’t have the woman pay for the date and you aren’t a wealthy bachelor; where does that leave us? The only answer to this question is to find a place which isn’t the McDonald’s dollar menu and is a low-cost memorable experience. That is why we have prepared a list of places for your dates. We promise they won’t break your bank.
Coffee and a Stroll
Getting coffee together is a great experience to get to know each other. You both get that extra caffeine spike which will keep the conversation flowing for hours. That is if the chemistry is right. The cost of two coffees is hardly enough to break the bank. The other side of the coin is that if the date is a nightmare; you can always eject from the short-lived situation.
Picnic on a Sunny Day
A picnic is a classic date idea and also very romantic. The idea of consuming tasty fruit while discussing childhood memories on a soft blanket is golden. It is one date that will surely have her running back to her friends to boast. The best part is that you don’t need to stuff yourself like a Thanksgiving turkey. Sandwiches and some healthy snacks go a long way for a relaxing picnic. They are also very inexpensive.
Take Fido Out for a Walk
If you are both dog lovers, taking your dogs out for a walk together is a free and pleasant experience. But what do we talk about? The ice-breaker is a given, talk about your dogs. We ensure that the awkwardness will fade like a summer’s breeze.
Most bars have billiard tables in them. Choosing to play against your date in a competitive game can have remarkable ice breaking effects. Just imagine the amount of playful banter to emerge out of that dating experience. Soon you two will be trash-talking each other like you are best friends. The billiard date is an affordable idea. That is unless you both are drinking like fish. Stick with one drink and the game of pool and this date won’t bleed your bank dry.
Watch Airplanes Take Off and Land at the Airport
This might be more of a second date idea, but it’s a creative date idea that must be included. Sitting on the hood of your car next to each other as the planes roar overhead can be a stunning experience together. It might just take you back to your childhood days. You guys can bond over childhood stories and talk about the meaning of life. It is a great relaxed date idea that won’t cost you anything but your time.
An escort’s tale of a fun evening with a very strict boss!
If there’s one thing I love about my job, it’s the way it allows me to express my more adventurous side. Each client wants something different from me on our dates. Some want me to simply accompany them to an event. Others want the full girlfriend experience. Some, however, think outside of the box a little – just like my most recent date.
As a London outcall escort, I often get called by some of London’s city workers to meet them in hotels and bars – tonight was one such night. Ewan was a city trader, and by night he liked to indulge in a little bit of escapism. He told me that because his job was so stressful, it was hard to switch off when he came home. By indulging in a little bit of role play and some adventurous activities though, he was able to totally unwind. It was a bit like becoming a different person, he explained. As someone who’s constantly adapting to different situations, I knew how he felt.
For our date, Ewan had requested that we meet at a hotel on Edgware Road. So far, pretty standard. The twist in the tale, however, was that I would be playing a part that evening. For one night only, I was to be Ewan’s sexy secretary. So in addition to my racy black underwear, I was wearing a blouse, a pencil skirt and of course, killer heels. My dark hair pulled into a sleek bun and some glasses completed the look. We’d agreed on the details of our fantasy before the date, so we could hit the ground running as soon as I arrived. I knew I was in safe hands, and that made me all the more keen.
When I arrived at the hotel, Ewan was waiting in the room. As I knocked on the door, I could feel my heart beat faster with excitement. As Ewan opened the door, he smiled. “Please, step into my office,” he said, jokingly. His voice was all business though, and I knew that he was ready to let off some of the day’s tensions. “Of course sir,” I said, stepping past him.
I sat on the edge of the bed as he shut the door behind him. As he walked over, I could see the hunger in his eyes. “So,” he began. “I’m afraid that you just haven’t been pulling your weight in the office.” I raised my eyebrows, feigning surprise. Ewan loosened his tie, and pulled it from his collar. As he wrapped the material around his hand, I shivered in anticipation of what was to come.
“No,” he said. “In fact, there’s only one thing I can do to resolve the situation.” He drew closer to me and popped open a button on my blouse, exposing my bra. “You see, naughty girls need to be taught a lesson. And you,” he whispered as he kissed my neck. “You are the naughtiest of them all.” As he unbuttoned my blouse fully, I surrendered myself to his touch, totally lost in our little game.
Readers, it’s safe to say that I learnt my lesson many times over that night.
It is one thing to be single today but if you don’t know the Basic Dating Etiquette, it can leave you single for a lot longer!
The most important thing to remember in this post is that you are a good person & and are worthy of a loving relationship. Your self esteem & body language need to show this in order for you to meet someone with the same rapport. There is someone for everyone & each person is special and beautiful in their own way. (Thank God for some men who like quirky redheads!! Yay! 😉
~Confidence is a beauty all in itself~
What are the first things to keep in mind on a first date?
• Have a small “silent” checklist prioritized as a boundary guideline; do not discuss this out loud.
• Don’t go on a date with your clipboard questionnaire. Too many questions feel like a Barbara Walters interview!
• Be polite & fun! “First Impressions are a make or break future date.”
• Make an effort with your appearance. Rolling off the couch with bed head and yoga pants is not enough ~ contrary to popular dating attire discussions!
• Scent is important; be mindful of too much cologne, body odor, nose hair cling-ons etc. (Seriously people this will not get you laid!)
• Both sexes should dress respectfully & age appropriate. That goes for the Mr T. Big Ass Jewelry Starter Kit with unbuttoned shirt to hairy navel and the Cougar Camel-Toe Leopard Pants & super enhanced push up bra with cleavage that could crack coconuts…unless of course “you two” want to meet each other?
• If you want to be respected be respectful to them.
• Stay off your phone unless you have told them you’re expecting a REALLY important call. (Like from your brain surgeon!)
• Give them your full attention ~ (don’t use the mirrors to check out others in the room. Yes I had to say this!)
• Do not discuss past relationships ever on the first date! He doesn’t want to know your Ex could hold his own sausage fest he’s so well endowed or that his Ex was a playboy centerfold 4 years in a row!
• Don’t discuss sex too early unless that is all you are looking for ~ then Hell, go for it!
• Ensure you are comfortable with where you are going on your date. Just in case they have Ted Bundy serial killer good looks, you might want to take your own car for a precaution. Safety first people!
• When choosing a restaurant to take your date, find out if they have allergies or can’t eat certain foods for other reasons. You don’t want to spend your date night in the hospital because they went into Anaphylactic Shock!
• Let them know if it is a casual or dressy setting so they know what to wear. Remember not take them on a fear factor dating excursion! (No sky diving, rock climbing or cycling 50 km up a mountain.)
• Using light hearted humor is a great ice breaker but leave the sarcasm for your buddies.
• If you are picking up your date, knock at their door rather than texting or honking the National Anthem that you are out front. Always see your date to their car or front door at the end of the date.
• Sleeping with them on the first few dates is not recommended! Too many expectations and confusion will come into play if you do this. Remember the bunny boiler psycho in the movie “Fatal Attraction!”
Be careful how much information you give out too early; your date does not need to know every sorted detail about who you are. Be yourself but hold back on these private outbursts until you have something established with them. No one needs to know that you have had hair restoration, your breasts enhanced, you haven’t had sex in 5 years or that your dad is in jail for armed robbery! You don’t even know if there is a mutual connection yet so why would you want to discuss all your dirty laundry or insecurities on the first few dates? Wouldn’t it make more sense to show them your best traits first? Why sabotage any chance of seeing them again by telling them all these scary reasons not to be interested in you? Everyone has flaws or a few skeletons in the closet but the first few dates should be fun and not filled with dramatic conversation! Shhhh…
If you ask someone out for dinner be prepared to pay regardless of what gender you are. In this day and age it is acceptable and appreciated for a woman to ask a man out. You don’t have to go to the most expensive restaurant in town so don’t feel obligated to empty your wallet every time you date. There are many great date night establishments that don’t break the bank. If you are invited to someone’s home for a meal never go empty handed; a bottle of wine or a dessert is always appreciated and expected! (It’s not cheap to impress someone with your TV Chef cooking skills these days!) Always be on time but if you have to be late, call in plenty of time beforehand so they are not sitting on the couch dressed and ready to go. Calling them when you are already supposed to have been at the front door is terrible etiquette. They could have done something else for an hour! Again…this won’t get you laid.
Respect their time as it is just as valuable as your time!
What should you do at the end of the date?
• If you felt a reciprocated connection, give them a hug or a kiss goodnight. (Kissing is huge and can tell you a lot about your connection with them! Find out sooner than later I always say.)
• Tell them you would love to see them again. (Don`t wait for the three day rule to call.) You will stand out a lot more if you don’t play the obvious “Dating Game BS” scenarios.
• Follow up your date with a thank you call, text or E-mail.
• Do not say you will call when you have no intention of doing so! It won’t help your dating reputation either because people talk and they will slam you.
• Honesty with diplomacy is always the best approach if you do not feel a connection on the date. Be kind and careful with your choice of words but don’t lead them on if there is no chemistry between you both.
• Don’t go home angry or disappointed if things didn’t work out on your date. Every dating experience is something that you can learn from; enjoy them for what they give you at the time because there will always a reason you met them, regardless of how many dates you had together.
• Don’t get too eager and look at every great date as a potential spouse. (Picking out china patterns or introducing them to your parents too early will only end in disappointment because they will RUN!)
• If you want to see them again but have a very busy schedule for the next few weeks, be honest and tell them. Ask them if you can book a day on your calendars ahead of time. Most people will be happy knowing that there will be a second date and that you are thinking ahead to plan something with them.
• Never call last minute expecting them to drop everything for that second date.
Be careful not to be too aggressive with texting and calls after the first date. You don’t want to come across desperate or needy. Ladies; I have had a few emails from men telling me how turned off they were with women who bombarded them with numerous texts after only 1 date. Too much of anything can be annoying so wait until you are in an established relationship before you do this. Leave a little mystery!
Both sexes should relax and let things unfold naturally. If it is meant to be everything will work out without having to be pushy. With an open mind (even when a date goes wrong) it can make you see more clearly what you really “want” down the road. Everyone who comes into your life teaches you something in one way or another; don’t look at it as a waste of time. You might not see what purpose they had in your life right away, but you will understand why later. (It could be about you teaching them something, which is always good karma.)
Regardless of what transpires, go out and enjoy your single life in the dating world ~ There is so much to explore and some great people to meet. Experience is everything & one of life’s beautiful lessons. At the very least you may develop some great friendships down the road or learn something very valuable that changes your life forever. By visualizing a healthy relationship, believing and having a positive attitude, you will never be alone. People will always gravitate towards your energy. Remember; you are never too old to date or to find love in your life.
Susan McCord aka Dear Sybersue @ http://www.youtube.com/c/susanmccord
Recently, I received a question on Twitter:
“Where can you go on a date without paying?”
Blows my mind. At this stage, I’m not even going to be nice about hiding my astonishment. If I try really really really hard, I can put myself in my old shoes and think about where this idea that dates are about money comes from.
I can think about my own out-dated psychology about having a scarcity mindset and wanting to impress women. Thinking that dates are about money, and that dates require impressing a woman, by means of taking her somewhere expensive.
I haven’t taken a woman on an expensive date who didn’t deserve it in over 3 years.
Most of my first dates are absolutely free, and if they cost anything it’s the price of tea or coffee at a local coffee shop. Sometimes if the girl can’t meet until later in the evening, then we’ll grab drinks, but I’m still not spending any more than necessary.
Second dates can go up in price a bit depending on what we’re doing, but still not extravagant, which just makes sense. We’re seeing each other a second time, so of course the investment goes up, but it doesn’t have to be a monetary investment.
Top 5 Free Dates Every Nice Guy Should Know
The point is not to show her that I’m amazing, the point is to find out if we both feel amazing together.
Dates are about connection.
The question isn’t, “where can you go on a date without paying?”, the question is, “how can I build a connection with this person?”
Now, the options open up, and the flood gates let loose.
There are three criterion for your date:
Takes up at least an hour
If it falls into those three categories, then you’re good to go.
Here are the top 5 best free dates every nice guy should know, just to get you started:
Going for a walk
Hands down, this is my first date.
I will meet her at a coffee shop and then immediately suggest we go for a walk. If she declines, I decline the whole date. If she accepts, then we go on our way.
Studies have shown that, blah blah blah. You don’t care about studies, and neither do I.
Friends walk together, interrogations and job interviews happen across tables.
You don’t need a study to understand the truth of your own life.
Going for a walk ANYWHERE is free, takes up at least an hour, and builds a connection.
Granted, you can do this while you’re out on your walk. You can do this whenever. Fact of the matter is that people watching is free, takes up at least an hour, and builds connection.
Plus, women love it.
Dude, this is so much fun! One of my favourite spots is actually IKEA.
Behold the IKEA date:
We will run through the displays, pretend like we’re a couple living in the displays, have play arguments, do more of that walking together and people watching, steal some kisses, and you know what?
Whether it’s the mall trying on clothes you’ll never buy or IKEA running around acting like you’re buying furniture, it’s free, it takes up at least an hour, and it builds connection.
Sex is free. You can also make a date out of sex. Ever had sex for over an hour? You should. When you do it will also build connection.
Fact: Sex is a great way to spend the weekend, and I’m sure there’s a study somewhere that shows how much sex promotes a healthy cardiovascular system, and a separate study that concludes muscular development in the hips.
In all, sex is free, it takes up at least an hour, and builds connection.
Cuddling is also free. Funny how that works, eh? Remember, The two of you can cuddle and talk and it’s completely free! Remember, we’re all about building that connection, not spending money on each other.
Obviously, you may need to have an activity involved, such as watching a movie, but this is still an activity that can take up an hour or more. And it builds connection.
Which meets our criteria, if we recall, which is that the activity must be free, must take up at least an hour, and must build connection.
Be a nice guy who finishes first with women, because you’re not trying to impress her with all the money you don’t have, or aren’t willing to spend.
Both are unattractive, so be the nice guy who finishes first, by seeking to build a connection with her.
I’m Kevin Alexander, a nice guy who finishes first with women, and you can read more articles from me by clicking here.
You just completed a fantastic date with someone new. Relationship potential is there. This new love-interest has you totally intrigued and excited so you definitely don’t want drop the ball with a bad follow-up strategy. A lack-luster follow up attempt could end any potential for future dates. To your increase the odds that your crush will say yes to a future date, here are 6 ways to follow up after a date…
1. A follow-up text
Sending a quick follow-up text it your love-interest is a great way to show that you had a fun on your date and that you’d love to go out again. A simple text saying something like, “Had a great time last night! Looking forward to seeing you again” will help lock down date #2! It takes two seconds. A short text of appreciation can speak volumes.
2. A short but sweet email
Maybe you’d like to be a bit more poetic with your follow-up and want to send more than a text. Feel free to send a follow up email if you’d like to say more than a sentence or two. Don’t go too crazy though. Sending a lengthy essay to your potential love-interest could be a bit overwhelming. A long paragraph is more than enough to show that you’re interested. Add a poem, meme, song, or funny video to put a smile on your crush’s face.
3. A quick phone call or voicemail
“Say what Dating Advice Girl? You mean actually use my phone to call my crush?” I know it’s crazy but yes, following-up with an old-fashioned phone call could be just the thing to make you stand out from the texting singles crowd!
4. A PRIVATE facebook message
If your potential love-interest is on FB more frequently than on their phone, especially while at work…a quick private message of appreciation could be a nice work day distraction. A short, “I hope you’re having a great day…looking forward to seeing you again soon,” will make it clear that you are interested in a future date. WARNING! DO NOT POST A MESSAGE ON YOUR CRUSH’S FACEBOOK WALL!! You’ve only gone out on one, maybe two dates, so it’s important to be discreet and avoid being overly aggressive virtually. You and your crush are still getting to know each other and most likely your relationship status has not yet been discussed. Play it cool and avoid passive-aggressively attempting to stake your romantic claim publicly via social media. Your social media PDA could backfire in a major way.
5. A card, flowers or a small gift to his/her home
Opt for this follow-up gesture if you picked up your date at their house and/or if you were invited inside.
If you haven’t actually been invited to your love-interest’s place, secretly finding out his or her address could feel a bit stalky to your crush. If you have discussed addresses and such, sending a small flower arrangement or a balloon bouquet follow-up gift of appreciation could put you at the head of the dating pack.
6. A card, flowers or a small gift to his/her work
Just like having something delivered to your crush’s home, make sure to only send something to your potential love-interest if you’ve already discussed where he/she works beforehand. It would also be wise to gauge your crush’s level of comfort at work before you go hog wild in case your crush is shy and would be horrified by a big bundle of balloons hovering above their cubicle. Go small with this option since your crush will be amongst colleagues in the workplace. Honestly who wouldn’t enjoy receiving a surprise bouquet of flowers from their crush on a random Monday at the office?!
Remember a date isn’t really complete until you’ve reached out, followed up, and planted the seed for a second date. It’s up to you to do what you can to make your crush want to say yes to another fun night out with you!
Everyone who has been on more than one first date knows that they are truly hit or miss. Sometimes you leave and you feel super-smitten with the person, you have butterflies, constantly thinking about them, and excited to see them again. Other times, you leave feeling repulsed or unoptimistic about your prospects for dating partners and love life in general. You may feel frustrated and emotionally-drained.
As a certified life coach and relationships columnist, I’m constantly thinking about the makings of a great relationship, how I can improve my own love life, and outwardly extend this positivity to others. My involvement in the self-improvement industry constantly inspires me to be better. And that doesn’t mean I don’t experience those “misses” from time to time. That’s a part of life. But I also have plenty of “hits” that I rejoice in. As you continue to experience “misses” in your love life, you will find that you appreciate the “hits” much more. So much of maintaining a positive and healthy love life is knowing how to handle situations as they come to you. Knowing how to enjoy dating experiences for what they are (and not for what they aren’t), communicating your interest well (or lack thereof), and exuding confidence at all times is key.
So… if you recently went on an awful first date, I encourage you to get back on that battlefield of love (oops I meant ball field *wink*), and keep putting yourself out there and going on more dates.
Here’s how you can bounce back quickly and get back in the game:
Chalk it up to experience
Lots of dating success involves finding validation in yourself. Be confident. You gave it a shot, and that’s a good thing. If you hadn’t gone on this terrible date, you might be wondering “What if?” a week from now, a month from now, and even a year from now. Maybe this date was a miss, but if you keep applying yourself socially and going on more dates- you will eventually meet the right person for you. No dating experience where you are being genuine and learning is in vain. Girl, you’ve got some character. Very Cosmo, very Carrie Bradshaw!
Laugh it off
Your bad experience is in the past. The good in it is that it makes your life more interesting. You now have a story to tell- material for the guy-talks with your girlfriends, hilarious conversation for cocktail parties… And when you get into the deep talks about your past with your thoughtful future boyfriend, the two of you can laugh about it. Hopefully he’ll say, “I would never do that to you.” You will value the guy in the future who is a gentleman and treats you well. So get your giggles on!
Look to the future
You may have left that coffee shop, thinking to yourself, “What was I thinking going out with this person?” That’s okay- you’re being honest with yourself. You just became more mature, experienced, and wise. Now, look to your future. Think about what it can become. If there is someone in the world destined to be with you as your love and soul mate, you will surely meet them. And you may not know when, but now you know very definitively of something you don’t seek in a potential dating partner. Now, you can move on to a future with someone better who is worthy of you. Are you ready for your future? Your destiny calls. Ring, ring, ring! Answer the phone.
The most successful daters don’t let things bother them too much. Give yourself a bit of time to reflect on your negative dating experience and feel those woes of “What if I don’t find the right person?” Then, immediately snap out of it. Put on some lipstick, a pair of heels, get yourself together, and go out with your friends. You are desirable. Know that you will find someone special. And in the process of finding them, you can have some fun. Resilient daters acknowledge how they feel for a little while, they let themselves grieve a loss if someone pulls a Houdini or breaks up with them, but they don’t let it affect them too intensely. In this case, it was just a first date. We’ve established that you have some va-va-voom character now, you can laugh it off, and you are mature. Good for you! Now, get out there, and go on some more first dates. And if a relationship is what you crave, this is how you will get there like a superstar dating champ. Be resilient!