When his sails fail to rise, the reason may very well be with him. But, in some cases, the odd few, the reason may also be with you—sorry. Some men have distinctive sexual appetites, which need to be adequately serviced in order to get turned on. Whether those cravings be frisky, kinky or just super high-maintenance is for you to find out. So, if you think your bedroom powers may need some sexual healing, learn how to become better acquainted with the art of seduction by solving these 5 reasons you’re not turning him on.
1. You’re not Confident
Any man will tell you that confidence is integral to hot sex. If you’re not riding him like a power-tripping cowgirl or using killer Medussa level eye-contact, your confidence may measure low on the steam scale.
Men are incredibly attracted to confidence in bed; it’s a huge turn-on, stronger than just physical beauty on its own. Otherwise, the sex is missing that zing factor, that extra punch, which makes the women extra special and sexy.
Confidence is also linked to how openly you communicate in the sack. “Good sex is about one thing and one thing only: communication”, explains Sex Expert John Devore in his article, “Mind of a Man: Be Better in Bed”. When you boldly guide him through pleasuring you or let him know what feels right, it shows you’re a self-assured babe. You’re a woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to openly share her passion.
But don’t turn into a bossy sex-monster—just be seductively forthcoming about your cravings. In the end, women who radiate with confidence are the ones who create mind- blowing and memorable sex.
2. You’re not Fulfilling His Unique Needs
A pistol in the sheets knows all about catering to a man’s individual needs. Not all men are the same sexually, so why would you treat them the same in bed? Just because your last boyfriend liked that swivel thing you do with his twin nuggets before he busts, doesn’t mean your next partner will be down for this move. It’s like bringing him to a restaurant with only one menu option—so uninteresting! Next!
So live by the mantra that some men have special preferences in bed. And as a good lover, you’ll want to learn about these desires and make them happen—within the cope of your personal boundaries though. Don’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable. There’s a fine line between needing to be more experimental and doing 50 shades of things you wish you hadn’t.
But as long as you’re game for his fantasies, definitely go nuts. You might even learn a few new tricks, who knows.
3. You’re not Enthusiastic
There’s nothing hot about a reluctant partner who’s not in the mood. A woman who robotically opens her legs like it’s a chore is about as sexy as a two-cent hooker with bad breath—okay maybe not that bad, but still a huge turn off!
Have you ever been guilty of careless, lazy sex? You may also know it as star-fishing? That frozen position where you lay idly on the bed and wait for him to finish his business like a zombie in a coma. Yup, that’s the one! Well, that’s a huge erection killer. So, if you think that just getting naked and letting him ogle your goods is enough, it’s definitely not. At all!
Guys can sense when your half into it and want to feel desired and adored. As relationship blogger, Joshua shares, “We may not admit it, but we want to be complimented on our appearance and feel like our woman is physically attracted to us,” he explains in his article, “Ten Things Men Secretly Want From Women”. “No man wants to feel like his woman is doing him a favor by sleeping with him,” he adds.
Now, nobody’s saying you have to always be a fire-rocket, but if every time, there’s no oomph in your jiggie, you may have to start putting in more soul… and moan like you mean it!
4. Your Sex is Repetitive
Sex that’s predictable as a Seinfeld rerun gets dull. And are you surprised? If you keep doing the playing the same moves over and over again, he’s going to crave a different episode. In truth, repetition creates monotony. Suddenly, the sex starts to feel average and lackluster—it just becomes meh. New channel, please!
So how do you salvage a sex routine that’s lost its spark? Get inventive, girl! Sex expert Bobby Box suggests surprising him with a prostate massager to make things more intense and playful. “If you’re a beginner, choose a smaller size toy, so it’s less intimidating, plus lots and lots of lube,” he suggests in his article, “Masturbation To The Next Level With These Male Sex Toys.”
If he’s not into toys, you can always roleplay or change up the scenery. Sex doesn’t always have to happen on the bed, you know… let your imagination run wild!
5. You Skip Foreplay
There’s no law against skipping foreplay, but if you cut the corners too often, it can take a toll on your sex life—or at least his. Guys love BJs, especially when you enjoy giving them.
In the ideal scenario, you’ll be swallowing down his rod like its your last meal. Guys are addicted to deep throwing—it’s basically hitting the orgasmic jackpot. Yet, if you’re wouldn’t exactly call yourself a love-juice- hungry vixen, there’s ways around this.
Sex counsellor R.Esco suggests using flavored lube to make oral sex more enjoyable.” It makes blow jobs yummy and also enhances the overall experience of getting down. Most brands feature fruity flavors, but there are a wide variety of options available such as chocolate, mint or bubble gum,” she says in her article, “Best Personal Lubricants for a Slippery Ride”.
Basically, when you’re loving it, he’s loving it.
By checking off these 5 limp-proof strategies off your list, you’ll stop wondering why you’re missing the mark. So get back in there soldier, and never leave a good orgasm behind.
Do you want to give your wife or girlfriend the best massage? A sensual Montreal massage is a very popular option for people who want relief from stress, anxiety and pain. But for a lot of couples, it’s also a good way to boost intimacy and romance.
If you want to give your partner a massage yourself know that touching your woman the right way says a lot about you and how you feel. Not only will she feel relaxed with a good massage, but it will also perhaps set the mood for something more.
In this article you’ll learn how to give your partner the best massage she’s ever had.
Giving a sensual massage should be set in a private and quiet place. If you have kids, then schedule it when they’re in school or at their friends’ place. Make sure your phone is off the hook; turn off your cellphones and everything else that can serve as a distraction. Play soothing music and dim the lights. You can even just switch off the lights completely and light a few scented candles to set the mood.
You’ll also need a sheet to cover your “work area” and then another one to cover your partner’s body especially if you’re planning to do this when the weather’s a bit chilly.
Learn How to Do a Massage
If you’ve ever had a massage in a spa before, then you know that there are several massage techniques – Swedish, Shiatsu, etc. Each of these has different goals but you don’t really need to know everything – you just need to focus on giving your partner a good massage. Your goal should be to help your partner relax.
A few pointers to keep in mind:
Massage the muscle – not the bone or skin.
Use an even and firm pressure, not hard or deep.
Work on large muscle groups.
Use oil or any lubricant.
Know when to stop.
Find the right pressure
You want to be able to massage your partner in such a way that the effect is not superficial. But you also don’t want to do it too deeply that your strokes will begin to hurt because you’re already pressing hard on the bone.
Pressure that is too light and uneven can be very uncomfortable so be sure to be consistent all throughout your massage. You can ask your partner for feedback. Some people want hard or deep pressure while others prefer lighter strokes.
Working on larger muscle groups like the legs, shoulders, back and neck makes you more efficient in massaging her body while at the same time preventing any soreness or damage to the muscles.
Finally, don’t forget to use oil. Lubricants are necessary for skin-to-skin contact/massage, to protect it from friction and irritation. You can use Vaseline or oils that have the scent she likes.
Once you’re done massaging the special lady in your life, give her a warm towel and a drink (tea perhaps?) to end your session.
I always used to dismiss the importance of flirting. In my younger days, I thought that, if a girl liked me, it would be obvious and the conversation would flow naturally. I didn’t think that I would have to make much of an effort, and just assumed that the girl would accept my personality – if she was physically attracted to me. Boy was I wrong. I soon found out how little physical appearance counts for, if you say the wrong thing at the wrong time. Flirting is an age old custom that enables women to see what you are all about, before they entertain the prospect of bearing your children. Ignore flirting at your peril, because it’s a huge factor that will determine your success (or otherwise) with the opposite sex.
Simple on the Surface Only
I class myself among the many men who have missed out on lots of sex unnecessarily, due to poor flirting skills. This is a major hardship for something that appears so simple. Essentially, flirting is nothing but a lighthearted, nonchalant verbal exchange. However, to gain from it, you need to acknowledge it, understand why you are doing it, and master the rules. If you are reading this, you probably realize that flirting is a mandatory part of seduction. Notwithstanding, have you ever considered why humans engage in these frivolous conversations before having sex?
If I was to ask this question to a teenage girl, she would answer that flirting is enjoyable and gets her in the mood for a physical encounter. Nonetheless, why is it ‘enjoyable’ for women, but bewildering to (many) men? It’s because flirting is a game of emotions, where women test the character of their prospective sexual partners. The woman and man banter with each other, gauging how the other responds in turn. Every time the woman throws a barb at the man, she is assessing his intelligence, his ability to react on the spot, his stress handling skills, his sense of humor and an array of other characteristics. All of this contributes to the ‘enjoyment’.
The only thing that men should concern themselves with, when it comes to flirting, is generating tension. What I eventually learned was that the amount of tension you generate is directly proportionate to the level of interest a girl takes in you. Some men have significant perceived attractiveness, either due to their situation (e.g. a large bank account) or due to mother nature (e.g. a handsome physical appearance). These men generate tension simply by putting themselves before people. Their presence literally forces an emotional reaction from others. Similarly, a man without much perceived attractiveness can provoke the same reaction, by mastering how to flirt with girls effectively. This reaction will not come about immediately, because flirting slowly accumulates tension, not straightaway like perceived attractiveness. The end result though, is identical.
Proven Methods to Facilitate Flirting
Here’s some tried and tested methods for flirting with women, in situations that are fraught with sexual tension:
1. Cheekily accuse her of something
The old techniques are usually the best, and this one has certainly been around for a long time. If you get the chance, take something she says and twist it to imply that she has ulterior motives (ideally sexual). This will generate a lot of tension, and add a new dimension to your interaction that you can build on and relish.
Her: “Did you buy that jacket recently?”
You: “Now you’re talking my language, shall we go back to your place or mine?”
Her: “Hold on! I never said we should leave!”
You: “Just a minute now, whatever gave you that idea?! We hardly know each other… I’m not sure whether we can leave together just yet! Take it easy…”
Her: “You’re mad…”
2. “I’m not joking”
Possibly, the most guaranteed way to make your date laugh is to inform her, with a deadpan expression, that you are not joking – after you say something that sounds like it should be a joke. Nonetheless, the real irony and comedy comes from the fact that it actually was a joke (usually….).
Her: “Do you see your parents much?”
You: “Yes, regularly. At least I did, before they were incarcerated.”
Her: “Ha ha.”
You: “I’m not joking.”
Her: “Oh, sorry…”
You: (After maintaining a solemn expression for five seconds) “Just kidding…”
3. Outrageous confidence / borderline arrogance
In non flirtatious conversations, people usually avoid creating tension by being modest and polite. When you want to make an impression on a girl though, it’s a different set of rules. Casanovas are so self assured, that women sense their confidence and are drawn to it.
Her: “I bet you say that to all the girls.”
You: “Yeah, you’re right I do.”
Her: “Oh! So, you see me as no different? Do you think that you can just feed me some pickup lines, and I will jump straight into bed with you?”
You: “Well, actually, I thought that I would need to have a proper conversation with you, prior to jumping into bed. But then again, if you’re ready now, why not? I mean, I wouldn’t want to be rude or anything…”
Her: “Uhh…well…I guess so….”