Want to Get The Spark Back? Try Public Sex.

Want to get the spark back? Try public sex

You’ve been together for years. Your sexual routine… well, has become just that: a routine. It’s gotten old and boring. You’ve reached the point where you’re writing your grocery list while faking an orgasm. Your sex life has withered.

Yes, there is hope. If you have a good line of communication with your partner, you should be open to a talk about bringing something adventurous to the table. And if you’re both willing to be a little naughty then you’ve got a great chance at bringing back that irresistible desire to tear each other’s clothes off.

One thing I’ve suggested to couples that has never let anyone down has been to take a venture and have some public sex! Everybody loves it. People say that there is just something about it that reignites that feeling of tantric lust you once knew.

What is it about public sex? It’s that risky feeling… and going for that risk together. The taboo around public sex and bearing the risk of exposure kind of makes you “partners in crime”. You’re both on a mission. And there’s an explosive reward at the end of that mission.

It’s also a challenge you face as a team. You have to plan it, pick a location, choose your attire and make sure you get away with it. Usually people find that taking the very actions necessary to conceal the act is a powerfully erotic process in and of itself. Knowing every detail of your secret plan when you make eye contact in the presence of others usually turns out to be the raciest part of the experience.

If this is sounding like something you can get into, here are five simple steps on how to successfully have public sex:

1. Plan Ahead.

This is the most important part. Public sex isn’t just public sex. You are both working as a team! You two have to sit down and talk logistics. This is where the mating ritual begins. This is where things start to get HOT.

2. Choose Your Outfits.

First be practical. Ladies, a sundress is probably the best way to go. Guys, I recommend linen. Be sure to make the “outfit-choosing process” a discussion. Try things on together. Reach a mutual agreement.

3. Choose A Location.

One of the most risqué places to try this experiment is your local department store fitting room. Just “go shopping together”. Pretend you’re trying on clothing. Go in the fitting room, make out a little, come back out for more clothes and repeat the process until you can’t stop.

4. Initiation.

This is where shit gets real. Engaging in the act together involves some strategy. There are some important things to consider. Once you’re in your spot, you have to “get in position”. I recommend reverse cowgirl for dressing rooms. The key is trying to regulate your movements during intercourse. Be particularly careful upon insertion. Remember you spent a lot of time working toward this and when that blissful feeling is finally realized, it can be very difficult to contain your expressions of pleasure. A slow insertion with a slow pace usually works best. That being said, you’ll probably lose control.

5. Volume Control.

Watch your levels. This is really fun. Your both in the fitting room. It’s Saturday morning. The store is crowded and you’re riding him like a Kentucky Derby All-Star. By this point, things would be getting loud, but instead your jaw is locked down on the sweater you’re biting on (I recommend bringing heavy garments into the fitting room). It’s very easy to let out a yelp or more at climax. You might lose control. It happens and people “get caught”, but it’s no big deal. You just had the time of your life, and you’re looking each other dead in the eye knowing something special just happened. As for the rest of the people in the store, they are probably thinking of trying it out themselves.

The moment of mutual connection during climax will be unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. Make sure you’re looking into each other’s eyes. Make sure you share it together. It will be yours to remember when things get dull again. Don’t be afraid to be dangerous. Live a little. I can assure you this will turn your world’s upside down.

CJ Westyn
CJ Westyn is a relationship expert and strategist residing in Princeton, New Jersey and Denver, CO. He is a Date Camp™ Coach and former co-host of dating and relationship talk radio show, Intuidate Radio®.

CJ holds an M.A. in Rehabilitation Counseling and has spent over 10 years working with couples and individuals on a broad variety of relationship issues.

CJ’s mission is to use his writing and untamed sense of humor to add value to the dating advice world by delivering helpful digital content. He strives to move people forward as he guides them through overcoming the uncomfortable yet inherent challenges we are dealt by the human condition (You know, when “life gets in the way”).

CJ’s aim is to also raise awareness surrounding cultural mores and standards that are congruent with human biology yet have earned negative value judgment due to sociocultural human constructs such as religion, ethics and tradition.

In addition to dating advice, CJ spends significant time writing comedy and performing elaborate practical jokes. In his spare time, he watches plenty of Andy Kaufman videos (for inspiration) and audits classes at Princeton University.

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