Your honeymoon is long since over and your day to day now includes juggling a thousand details, a household and a spouse with barely a moment to spare. It’s easy to get caught up in the fast paced world around us and the first thing to get pushed to the back burner is usually the person you go home to.
If this sounds like you and your relationship, it’s time to slow down, take a step back and start making some small changes that will make a BIG difference for you and the one you love.
Tell the story of how you met every chance you get.
Telling your ‘couple story’ not only reminds you of all the things you fell in love with, it also acts as a great bonding experience when you get the chance to tell it together. Making others laugh or feel sentimental when you regale the details, both good and bad, of your first meeting will make you feel that first connection that made you an Us all over again, every time.
Never underestimate the power of a surprise, big or small.
Any time I come across something I know my hubby would love, I grab it. From a candy bar to a gift certificate to take a ride in a glider plane, anything goes. It really does show you’re thinking of them often and care about the things that make them happy, and well, them. Whether it’s a bag of beef jerky or something to use in the bedroom that night, my husband always lights up and he’s that much sweeter when we finally find ourselves together when the day is done.
Open communication is key.
It doesn’t matter if it’s a huge problem or something hilarious that happened to you today, talk about it. Taking time to talk to each other about everything or the small nothings each day brings you closer together and makes it easier to stay in that place of Us. If different schedules or daily issues keep you from seeing each other every day, there is always text, email and phone calls. Keep talking about everything that’s on your mind, no excuses.
Take turns being the one who flips out.
Absolutely nothing is solved in an argument with both people are flipping out. Ideally, we would keep our cool and hash things out calmly until it’s resolved but let’s be real, that’s almost impossible to accomplish during most fights. Instead, make sure that only one of you is super heated or losing their cool. If you see that your partner is clearly more impassioned than you about a fight you’re having, do them a favor and take a step back. Let them be the one who flips out. Chances are once it’s off their chest you’ll find a resolution and move on a whole lot faster than facing them like two bulls in a boxing ring every time you argue. It’s worked for us for almost a decade!
Never put off date night.
We did for almost a year after our second child was born and I almost lost my mind. Taking that time to be together regularly is so important. It keep the spark alive, reminds you who you fell in love with and ensures that you’re on the same page with each other as the years go by. As humans, we are inevitably going to grow and change as individuals with the passing of time. Make sure you still know each other when you’re old and gray by staying connected in the here and now.
[Tweet “Never underestimate the power of a surprise #ShowYouAppreciteThem”]
Stay as active as possible.
When you take the time to take care of your body and mind it will spill over into your relationship in a positive way. Doing something active that you enjoy helps you shake off the things that are driving you crazy, pissing you off or making you feel low while maintaining your physical health and energy levels. You’re less likely to bring those things home to the table and more likely to still be raring to go when the lights go out at bedtime.
Get away together whenever you can.
It doesn’t matter if you have a month, a week or just one night, if you find the chance to get away, do it. We are huge fans of heading ten minutes up the road to our favorite hotel and holing up for 24 hours of movies, room service and sex. If we can get away for a weekend, we do. You’ll go back to your every day life feeling reconnected and ready to face another day.
Keep each other in check.
If you notice your partner is having some sort of issues, say something. Don’t let them walk around with a short temper for two weeks or fighting a battle with their sibling that makes no sense at all for weeks on end. Speak up. Ask what’s wrong, give them an ear to talk to and a soft place to land if they’re feeling low, angry or just plain off. Helping them clear their air will help keep the air clear at home too.
Leave work at work.
I get it. Some people are on call, save lives or run a country. If these jobs don’t apply to you, leave work at work. Bringing home all of the problems, challenges and details of your work day or even worse, literally bringing your work home when your life doesn’t depend on it, isn’t serving anyone but you. Focusing on your home life when you’re at home helps you keep your priorities straight in your personal life with your partner. No one wants to eat dinner with someone replying to emails or to have sex interrupted by a colleague calling at 10:00 at night. No one.
Have sex regularly.
We all know busy lives makes for exhausted nights. This is one of those times when you should set the laundry list of excuses aside and just do it. Nine times out of ten you’ll be so glad you did even if it was just for a quick ‘Wham Bam Thank You Ma’am’. No one has ever had a worse go at their day to day life when they’re having more sex. Guaranteed.