I know it can be confusing to know with any certainty when he thinks you’re the one. For starters, let’s talk about your “free agency” until he acts like you are his girlfriend. Ladies: you are SINGLE until it’s agreed that you’re in an exclusive relationship. If you’re acting like his girlfriend, without that conversation actually happening, he will assume that you have staked a claim on him, and that you’re not going anywhere. You are locked down and he sees no reason to impress you or work at winning your affection.
Men like to win, but never by default. A real man doesn’t want to share you or have the leftovers of another man. If a man sees that he could potentially lose you to another man, he’ll get on point with lightning speed.
Real men go after what they want. There is no “man-crisis”, excuse or obstacle that can keep them away. If he tells you that he does not want a relationship—believe him and move on.
No man wants to lose an amazing woman because he didn’t step up and claim her. Here are 12 tell-tale signs that he is ready to man up and maybe even pick out rocking chairs to watch your grandchildren from:
- They share— I mean really share their self authentically. No bullshit. No façade or fake persona. And yes, real men share ladies.
- They talk about the future—Not always 6 or 12 months down the road, but they are making future plans with you that are more than a couple of weeks away.
- They express an interest in changing your “free agency” status. They will tell you they enjoy spending time with you and have no interest in doing so with anyone else.
- He makes time. And no, a 3am booty call does not count as time spent. He shouldn’t be ditching his friends or family, but he will be making time for the two of you.
- He actively peruses you. I mean dates you and not just asking you to hang out. Hanging out is for teenagers—not grown-ups.
- He communicates and tries to understand how you communicate as well. Men and women are hard-wired differently, so for a man to make this effort is outside of his biological make-up. A man that knows how you give and receive love is a keeper!
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- He fucks your mind before he fucks your body. Sex can be found anywhere, so there is no need to get you naked immediately. That behavior has player written all over it.
- He supports your goals and passions. No he doesn’t wave pom-poms and chant your name, but he recognizes your drive and promotes it.
- He doesn’t try to fix you, because you are perfectly imperfect to him just the way you are. You are not a damsel in distress or a charity case. He wouldn’t want you if you were.
- He respects your friendships and encourages you to have things outside of the relationship. Any man trying to hoard your time is more likely to be infatuated and not falling for you in a real way.
- He is not afraid to nerd out in front of you, or let his freak flag fly. Sharing on this level takes a lot of trust for a man to do. It’s like you’ve been invited into a secret world.
- His actions and patterns match his words. He will not disappoint you, lie to you or be deceptive if he wants to keep you. Anyone can say they love you, or they want to spend time with you. If a man really means it, it is tangible, noticeable and he does what he says he is going to do.