There comes a time in every woman’s life when she needs to take a break from dating. Whether you just called it quits with the guy who was supposed to be the one or just went on another horrible date, warming the bench doesn’t have to mean you hate men. If you’ve considered joining your local convent or switching teams then you would be me. Although I’m sure neither would want me in reality, or make me happy, sometimes it’s nice to ponder what if. There’s an art to warming the bench and it includes taking the absolute best care of yourself. This means giving yourself permission to be selfish and take up an uncharted form of exercise so that at the conclusion of swearing off men your at your most confident to snag one. Hey, let’s be honest here we don’t want to be single forever but…
It’s (totally) Okay to Warm the Bench Because…
Reason #1-You’re Rebounding
I’ll be the first to tell you that I’ve been known to say “the best the way over is under” —as in the best way to get over your last one is to get under your next one. This might work in your 20’s but if your 30 and up then this ain’t the way to go about it. This is where you discover yoga, tennis or soul cycle; any physical activity that will allow you to release the hate in a healthy way. This is how I discovered running! A man was playing hockey with my heart and I found a way to channel the hate. Embrace your broken heart and while you warm the bench use that hatred to fuel your hotness.
Reason #2-You vomit when you hear his name
When a man’s name scares you it’s definitely time to warm the bench. It happens with friends and it’s no different with men. If you immediately eliminate a man for having the same one as your ex then we have another thing in common. You see, the first man to break my heart was named George. Later I dated another man with the same name who finally caused me to never want to meet another George for the rest of my life. I just started talking to a guy name Geoff and when he told me his name I considered halting any further communication based on another douche bag bearing the same name and spelling. Talk about a coincidence. It’s not fair to the new guy to pay for what the old guy did. If the only thing they share is their name then odds are that’s where the similarities end, so give the guy a chance!
[Tweet “Got dating fatigue? It’s OK to take a #dating #break”]
Reason #3-You need to reconnect with…you
Dating can feel like there’s no end in sight and by end I mean finding your next relationship. The problem with that is it becomes less about the journey and more about the destination. I’m not the first person to tell you dating is supposed to be fun and I know all the ways it ain’t, but it’s true. Meeting a new person who piques your interest is fun and before you start pinning to your secret wedding Pinterest board just enjoy the moment. Time will tell if it’s meant to be, but before that happens taking some time to do what you like, when you like will only help you be able to better share who are when you’re done warming the bench. Because sitting on the sidelines shouldn’t last for more than a few months. I mean there’s a funny, charming man waiting to woo you.