So you find yourself missing your ex. That’s right. MISSING HER. But the thing is, you’re not missing her in an “I want to get back together” kind of way. It’s more of a platonic way. You are missing the friendship, the fun things you did, the laughs, the conversation.
If you’re wondering if it’s possible to re-connect with your ex and have a platonic relationship, the answer is most certainly yes! The questions are, are you both ready? How do you find that out?
It starts with a thorough examination of yourself. Take a deep look inside. Examine your feelings, your motives. Be honest with yourself in what you want. If you find that in good faith, you want to have a platonic relationship with your ex there are a few things that need to happen first and there are some steps to follow that will bring you two together on a platonic level.
1. Take Some Time Off After The Breakup
I think this is something we all do (or hope to achieve) by default when we breakup with someone. The key is no contact and no poking around looking for news about her. It’s total cut off. There are great benefits to being single or you may wind up in another relationship.
2. Contact Her When You Know The Time Is Right
How much time do you take off? The answer is that it is one of those things you will “just know when it’s right”. You will feel comfortable with the idea of reaching out to her.
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3. Tell Her What You Want.
This is critical. You must communicate your intentions. Be direct. Tell her, “I’m contacting you because I’m wondering if you were interested in being friends. You know, ‘just friends’”. Do this in no uncertain terms.
4. Accept Her Response
You may not get what you want to hear. She may not be ready. She may be in a new relationship and having you as a friend could have an effect on that relationship. On the other hand she could be open to it (and most likely will if you ended on good terms).
5. Meet And Greet
So if you both decided that you want to have a go at it, get together. This where you will really find out if it’s possible to be “just friends”. This is when you have to be extremely self aware. Are you having any romantic feelings whatsoever? Is there any sexual spark? Does the dialogue make you feel like you are in the relationship again? Is it comfortable?
So discussion becomes the most important part after you two have agreed to meet up. If you can clearly feel pure motive in yourself and if she is communicating that it is okay for her, then you may be on to something. Breakups are hard. They crush us. It feels like we are robbed of someone who became a part of ourselves. That doesn’t have to be permanent. They say pick someone who you could see yourself being best friends with. If you’ve followed that advice, that friendship will last forever.