Talking during sex is definitely a good thing. Not only does it help to connect you and your partner both mentally and physically, but it is also a great way to express your feelings during sex. Talking also encourages one another to be more involved in the moment.
There are, however, many things that men have been known to say during sex, that they shouldn’t.
Here are 5 of the most common phrases and questions and why women don’t like to hear them during sex.
1. Have you come yet?
Not only is this a rude question to ask during sex, it puts unnecessary pressure on your lover to orgasm. It is perfectly normal for a woman to take a longer amount of time to have an orgasm.
Asking her if she has will only ruin the mood and atmosphere and make it more difficult for her to reach her climax. It could also force her to fake an orgasm, essentially making the act of sex between the two of you pointless.
Remember that it’s not a race and that she should be allowed to come when she is ready.
2. No, not like that
Women experience anxiety and insecurities about their performance between the sheets in the same way that men do.
So when you bluntly say “No, not like that” or “What the hell are you doing?” it can shatter her confidence and will also ruin the moment and she won’t want to finish properly, leaving you and her both unfulfilled.
Instead of taking a very negative approach, give it a positive spin. Encourage her to continue doing the things you enjoy in a positive tone – “I love the way when you touch me that way”.
Not only will she be more likely to listen to you, it will enable you both to speak frankly afterwards about what you do and don’t enjoy.
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3. My ex loved it when I did this
No man enjoys hearing how he compares and contrasts to his partner’s ex, so why would women be any different? There is no need to tell your current partner, what your ex enjoyed in bed.
The best case scenario in this situation could be that your partner is turned off from having sex with you for a while and hurt; while the worst case scenario could be that it causes damage that can’t be repaired and could end the relationship.
Each woman is unique and different. This means that what arouses one woman or really gets her going in bed, might not necessarily have the same effect on another.
4. I have to leave at 12
When you say that you have to leave at 12 or set some other time limit on sexual intercourse with your lady friend, it can cheapen what should be an enjoyable and passionate encounter and make it difficult for her to get aroused.
No-one, man or woman, wants to feel like they are just a segment of someone’s day or worse still, to feel like an inconvenience to the person the love.
It may be that the best thing to do if you are in a rush is to leave having sex to a time when you are both able to enjoy it.
5. I wish you had more bottom to hold
Just as men don’t like to hear that their partner wishes their penis was thicker or longer, women don’t like hearing what is wrong with their bodies during sex; or at any time for that matter.
Many women are deeply insecure about their bodies and when you wish out loud that something was different about theirs, it can not only kill the mood, but also their confidence.