If only “The One” was literally painted on their forehead (or in a big neon flashing sign) when we eventually met them, surely it would all save us a lot of time and heartache! Alas we are instead forced to make our own decisions on which relationship is right or wrong for us and this is usually where we get hurt. It’s not easy being able to separate our head from our heart at times, however there can be clear indications if someone is in fact toxic for you.
1. There is no certain trust
It’s one thing for your partner to break a promise occasionally, but it’s altogether another thing when their actions don’t line up with their words consistently. Trust is incredibly important between a couple, it’s one of the key pillars in the foundation of an open, loving and healthy relationship. Living in fear of being disappointed, let down or even cheated on gives you no peace of mind, nor does it cultivate a joyful existence.
2. You feel like you are constantly walking on egg shells
Whether it’s because they are highly stressed, moody or downright high maintenance, you shouldn’t be made to feel like you can’t be yourself or have to tread on eggs shells to avoid their outbursts. When someone else’s reaction for your behaviour/opinion or feelings makes you feel scared, incredibly highly strung or vulnerable then it’s time to reassess the situation. You should be able to be free to discuss anything with your partner and live your life in a normal and carefree way.
3. There is no peace
Feeling anxious, restless or perhaps always wondering “what if?” or “is this it? ” are good indications that you are lacking peace in your relationship. Guaranteed there will be times of trial and growth for you both, but if two people are on the same page and putting in equal effort then peace will still be present to some degree even in the hard times.
4. There is no progress
Either you have hit a stalemate or you keep going round and round in the same destructive cycle. If you keep coming up against the same arguments and situations without any resolution or progress then this is usually a sign that you are either outgrowing one another or want different things.
[Tweet “Having the same argument is usually a sign that you’ve outgrown one another #relationships”]5. There is constant conflict
Conflict in normal and healthy in any relationship because let’s face it we are all humans and joining two lives together won’t always be a walk in the park! However if there is more fighting than peace and happiness then something is wrong. If you can’t agree on basic fundamental things together, or can’t discuss a problem without one person blowing up then this is more than just “a difference of opinions”.
6. Your future together is blurry
A toxic relationship means that it’s hard to be certain where you are both heading, there are no mutual goals or plans set in stone that you are working together and that’s either because you are so focused on trying to fix the present or you really are genuinely unsure what will happen. A healthy couple should be able to talk openly with each other about what they want to achieve together, be able to set goals and have a deep sense of peace sureness that they are heading towards something fulfilling and bright in the future.
7. You are constantly justifying their bad treatment
Do you ever catch yourself making excuses for their bad behaviour? Or perhaps you feel guilty for still staying with them and so justify to friends, family and even yourself why you should stay and why they need you. At the end of the day the only person we kid is ourselves, and by living behind the wall of ” it’s complicated, you wouldn’t understand” we are only highlighting our true deep unhappiness. You know what is right and what is wrong, even if you don’t know your true worth yet, so stop letting someone who does so little for you control so much of your life, time and emotions.