The SW Experts | 8 Things I’ve Learned from 6 Months on Tinder
1469
post-template-default,single,single-post,postid-1469,single-format-standard,qode-news-1.0.5,ajax_fade,page_not_loaded,,qode-title-hidden,qode-theme-ver-16.8,qode-theme-bridge,disabled_footer_top,qode_header_in_grid,wpb-js-composer js-comp-ver-5.5.2,vc_responsive

8 Things I’ve Learned from 6 Months on Tinder

Tinder

8 Things I’ve Learned from 6 Months on Tinder

1. The Tinder taboo is gone…

Gone are the days of, “Oh we met through a friend of a friend” or “she’s a Facebook friend”. Online dating is now fully acceptable in the form a swipey app. Everyone single seems to be on it and everyone in a relationship has at least tried it. Tinder is everywhere and the hook ups, eventual friendships and relationships have no online dating stigma attached. Tinder’s honestly is its main selling point. We are obliged to be significantly superficial and because of that, no previous connotations arise. Tinder is exactly what it aims to be and for that we have to be open enough with ourselves and other people that it’s efficiency and openness is what draws us to it.

2. I’m yet to have a pre-arranged hook up…

Tinder sex, Tinder hook ups and everyone else’s impression of the app around me suggest that each week I’m arranging sex sessions and hook ups with sexually adventurous people. It doesn’t seem to be the case. I have been with people through Tinder and 80% of the people I meet end up in my bed, but that is through dating and making an impression in person. I’m still yet to match with someone and feel brave enough to just make it about sex. Maybe my face doesn’t attract those that do or perhaps I’m yet to find out that if I became direct or open enough, no strings sex will cum. At least for now, I can safely say I use Tinder to date, not for casual sex.

3. The superficial nature spreads beyond the swiping…

It’s bad enough we’re rejecting human beings and potential matches in a split second via a picture. What I’m finding is that I have become pickier and noticed other people have become less able to let someone down gently. Constant un-matches and ignored messages seems to be the way that everyone disconnects. No longer, ‘I’m just not that into you’, instead you’re left with a barren self reflecting sense of “what the fuck did I do wrong?” I’m guilty of the post-superficial, superficial actions myself. We’re a lot more judgmental and due to the school of fish contently swimming upon Tinder’s open and accessible lake – you don’t ever feel like you have to settle. In a physical representation of a swipe – matches are gone and ignored just as easy at the first initial finger movement.

4. The Irish are coming…

It’s only become apparent the last couple of weeks, but by God, a lot of the girls on Tinder have just moved to London via Ireland. I have never seen so many Siobhan’s, Aoife’s and Niamh’s in my life. The amount of names you want to say that don’t resemble how the name sounds is unreal; SEOBAN, AUF and NEEM. They are all usually of the same disposition, bio complete with ‘loving life’ and a lucky charm emoji.

5. Lap Dancing is not a good first date impression…

I have had a few one night stands in my life and I’ve probably done some ridiculous stuff when I’m drunk, but what girl thinks that providing a full-on lap dance is going to be the best thing moving forward? Is that what people do, and do on a first date to boot? I have never cringed so much in my life and never actually thought to myself mid-date– shall I jump out of the bathroom window of my flat to banish this situation. Fair play to the girl, she was hot and knew what she was doing, but I just didn’t understand it. Eventually, a few dates later, it fizzled out, much like a pole dancer slowly sliding down her lubed up pole, eventually finishing in a silent heap on the floor.

6. It will eventually make you question yourself…

TinderMy first stint with Tinder was one that made me realise how shallow and crap the whole process can make you feel. I maybe looked at about ten matches, reading their bio’s and going through every picture. I was being picky and hoping the two people I thought were worthy of my swipe would match back. They never did. In mathematical terms the probability of matching with two or three people thinking the same about you are slim. I would sometimes go days without matches, wondering what the fuck was going wrong. I changed pictures, added wit to my bio and occasionally dropped my standards.

Regardless of the above, matching and getting that ego-boosting – “you’re a match” is only half the battle. You can match and match away with stunners and feel great, but fast forward to a week later…where are those glorious matches? Dormant and stagnant in your quiet conversation list I’m afraid. It happens a lot, and you start to question yourself. You have to be patient and willing to accept that matching with someone doesn’t necessarily mean too much in the grand scheme of things. You need a connection with someone that eventually leads you to meet. Ultimately I probably allow the connection to be driven by the pictures and have met up with people because of the way they looked, when in reality I wouldn’t have gone near them considering the dull and lifeless conversation.

[Tweet “Matches are gone and ignored just as easy at the first initial finger movement. #tinder”]

7. You will end up broke…

When you eventually do get the matches and you over compensate, like in my case, you end up with about 7 dates in two weeks. Exciting, exhilarating and ego boosting, it can all be a great process at first. The only thing that really gets you, is that two weeks later you realise you’ve spent an extortionate amount on dating. Being a male and a gentleman, it’s apparent my wallet and I are in a constant tug of war as to which Tinderling deserves our attention and financial gains. Take it easy and spread them out, or you’ll be eating tinned tuna every day for lunch. Wait – I do that anyway…date away.

8. You may swipe away your future wife…

Aside from the RTI (Repetitive Tinder Injury from constant swiping) I can’t tell you how many times I’ve swiped away ‘the one’. You get in a reject rhythm: no, no, no, constantly batting away the bad, the ugly and sometimes male. You get into this rhythm and get frustrated at the lack of potential mates – then suddenly a Kelly Brook lookalike flashes before your eyes and before you know it, she’s gone. Your thumb was not paying attention. You hope in the larger arena of life that everything happens for a reason and maybe you’ll meet in real life by chance, but be prepared for that frustrating feeling of knowing you’ve missed the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen on Tinder.