The SW Experts | A No Bullshit Guide to Meeting Your Perfect Match Online
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A No Bullshit Guide to Meeting Your Perfect Match Online

The Kooky Couple - a no bullshit guide to meeting your perfect match online

Online dating has come a long way from AOL AIM days of ShopGirl meets NY152 in a New York City park. That’s a You’ve Got Mail reference in case you have no clue what we are talking about. Now 1 in 10 adults are registered with an online dating service and it’s likely you’re on one as well. Yes, online dating is filled with weirdos, people looking for hookups, and catfishes. But that’s also where you can find your perfect match like we did. There’s an art to finding the love of your life online, we mastered it, and we want you to do the same. No more excuses, here you go:

We know it’s a pain in the ass, but fill out your profile. That means answering every last question and filling out the details. Dating sites narrow down your matches based on the compatibility of your answers. And from this point on, you will only connect with people who you have been matched with. We repeat, even if a hottie who looks like Kate Upton or Channing Tatum messages you and they are not on your match list, DELETE!

Pictures are extremely important, you know that and you probably stress over it. We suggest using your ugliest picture as your profile picture! Mathematically you will receive more responses this way (read The Mathematics of Love if you don’t believe us). Also, if someone shows interest in you while you are showing off what you think is your most unflattering features, you’ll feel more confident that the person is interested in you ‘despite’ your ugly qualities. And men, include a picture of your dog if you have one. It shows you aren’t a douche bag. Ladies, you may want to hide your tatas because you’ll automatically eliminate some of the creeps. Other no no’s are bathroom or gym selfie pictures don’t post them and don’t date them.

[Tweet “Pictures are extremely important, you know that and you probably stress over it! #onlinedating”]

Here is your plan of attack now that your profile is set up. First things first, delete everyone who you think is ugly. Don’t even read their messages. Once you do find a potential match, don’t set up a date before exchanging a few chat messages first. You’ll be amazed at the red flags that’ll pop up in a few lines of text. You need to vet everyone so you don’t waste your time. Catfishing is common so make sure you immediately ask for their social media (in a casual way). Channel your inner CIA Agent and dig around. Be on the lookout for fake social media accounts and even exchange new photos (if they refuse to send you one, RED FLAG), and get on Skype ASAP. Trust your gut and if you feel like something is off, get the F out. Only plan a date with someone when the connection happens fast and conversation is easy. Plan a date immediately after a successful conversation and don’t take excuses. If the meeting doesn’t happen, move on. The right one clicks immediately.

Don’t rule out long distance matches. We were in different countries when we met and spent a full month writing letters, calling, and Skyping each other. Eliminating the pressures of sex will give you a chance to actually connect. Remember Christian Grey isn’t really marriage material. Woo each other with emails and texts and pretend you’re straight out of a Jane Austen novel instead.

Above all, take risks. The day we met in person for the first time was the day we moved into together. Be ballsy, be kooky, and your story just might be better than the next romcom.