“We are going to have to share a hotel room, is that okay?” The dreaded words to hear over the phone when talking to your ex after not seeing each other for a year.
It’s been a year since I last saw my ex in person. Texts, tweets, face-time, Instagram and Facebook likes have been exchanged in that time but face to face conversation and presents has been seriously vacant. But an up coming trip (which seemed like a fantastic idea after a few frozen margaritas) means fives days in each other company and same hotel room. Let’s face it there are three ways in which this is going to go.
- We sleep together. Stand by for the heartbreak and agony all over again.
- We argue constantly and never want to speak too, let alone see each other ever again.
- Nothing. Nothing dramatic happens, and a friend filled few days of harmless fun occurs. Yeah right, likely story.
Place your bets now…
But can you really be friends with an ex? An ex who you were madly in love with? An ex who you planned the rest of your life with. An ex who broke your heart.
Am I just setting myself up for a huge fall? Or could this be the closure and next step I need?
As I leave the airport and get into my Uber heading to the hotel, the what the f*ck am I doing sinks in. Is this a good idea? I mean seriously. Thank goodness for my incredibly friends and chatty driver who has unknowingly calmed my nervous and put me in a very good mood for what could be the most awkward hug in the history of the human race, and also given me some fantastic tourist tips.
I stand there at reception waiting for the clerk to find my name. Hilariously in the states no one can pronounce my name correctly, therefore finding a reservation always takes a few extra minutes of my spelling my name aloud over and over again.
He has to come down and confirm the booking. As he walks over there is a very brief acknowledgement of my presents. Good start. Not.
As we walk to the lifts (booking sorted and repeated apologies to the incorrect pronouncement of my name are given) the obligatory how are you, you look good remarks are mad. Then the awkward hug occurs. I mentally cringed as I went in for a hug but as we connected the embrace was just like same old same old. It was like I’d never left his arms. Do not girlyout over this; it’s just a hug.
In the hotel room we caught up. So many things had happened in our lives that we no longer discussed with one another. Yes we talked occasionally but it seems we censored our conversations ignoring the real nitty gritty things in life.
Later that evening we went for a few drinks in the bar. A text from my best friend ‘DO NOT SLEEP WITH HIM!!!! (5 angry faced emoji)’ popped up on my phone. Always amazed me how she is one step ahead of me and is in my brain shifting through my thoughts.
And we didn’t. We did cuddle (very girly I know but it was nice and better not-getting-back-to-together-break-up-goodbye-awkward sex).
Though morning glory did occur the next morning. Well he is a man with a working penis in bed with a woman with breasts, one track minded guy. I declined. Inside I was scream but I knew the moments after I would be wanting to jump of the balcony of our 24 floors up hotel room. Mini celebratory cheer inside for me being a grown up and thinking of the bigger picture.
As the days went on, there were a few cold shoulder moments post ‘no I don’t think we should sleep together’ moment, but after a brief conversation on why that would yes be amazing but then horrific, we were back on the same page.
Five days whip past. And it is time to say goodbye. A kiss, a cuddle and a promise to call more often were exchanged.
[Tweet “A kiss, a cuddle and a promise to call more often were exchanged #ex”]
It was five days of going back in time. Not back to being in a relationship with him but back being a friend and having easy conversations and fun together. The temptation was there, but as the days went on this was not the only thing on the mind of two exes moving on and rekindling a friendship. This could have been heartbreaking but instead it concluded and closed the doors on our relationship as the doors swung widely open into our friendship relationship.
Tears could of occurred on many occasions but without trying we would never of known, and the idea of losing someone who I was once madly in love with completely from my life would of been more heartbreaking.
As I sit at the airport awaiting to board my flight I have a calm smile across my face, ready to move on complete with another true friend in my life and not just another social media companion who will like my newly posted selfie.
Am I that single girl who can be friends with an ex?