Many men struggle with “Conversation Starters” in approaching women or on initial dates. Firstly, the conversation starter is meant to be just that—a way to get the conversation started. You want to seem interesting and interested right? Well, that starts with listening and creating an emotional attachment. Women are highly emotional and tapping into what gets them excited or drives them is crucial. Find out what she is passionate about if you want to stand out. When you are trying to get to know her, ask about her life and experiences in a completely different way that every other man has done before. Everyone asks what’s your name, what do you do, etc – you have the same conversation with everyone. Instead ask about accomplishments, exciting trips or her favorite childhood memory.
Try using emotionally charged questions that she will feel comfortable answering. Also, there’s no need to stay tied to one topic or question. If you think of a question that fits the topic or situation, then just ask it! Here are a few examples:
Fantastic Conversation Starters for Approaching Women
- If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
- If you could talk to any one person now living, who would it be and why?
- What gift have you received that will never forget?
- What’s your favorite thing to do in the summer?
- What three things could you not live without?
- What is your favorite childhood memory?
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Mirror this right back at her! Answer emotionally instead of logically. She already feels connected to you because you have made her remember or feel good about an experience, a trip, a place she once lived. Share on that same level about what makes you feel good about you and your life so far. Even if you grew up in the middle of nowhere, population you and 14 cows, there is a story to be told. This type of sharing can and will create a spark, and possibly deepen a connection that she is starting to feel already. Why? Because when you ask yes and no questions or things that can be answered in five words or less, you are wasting an opportunity to get below the surface and find out what really excites and moves her.
Think of this exploratory conversation as a game of tennis or volleyball. It is supposed to continuously go back and forth. Each team serves it up or hits back to the other side. Once the ball is out of play you have to start over. Awkward silences are the equivalent of dropping the ball. In order to keep the volley going, asking things in unexpected ways changes the game and makes it much more interesting. The next day a woman will definitely remember speaking to you, because you struck an emotional chord with her. You brought out a joy in her and she feels listened to, and she can now attach that happy memory or exciting trip abroad to you.