What does “hot” mean?
I’m sure we all think of something similar when we use this word. Right now everyone reading this probably has the objective standard of the guy with the ripped abs or the fit yoga instructor. But are they really hot? Are they really attractive?
By objective Western standards, one would say yes. But the truth is, the definition of hot or what is attractive really depends on you and your energetic connection with any given person. I believe beauty becomes subjective once we begin to feel the energy of the person behind the ripped abs. Has a personality ever repulsed you? Have you ever found someone totally unappealing only to slowly find out that you were becoming more and more attracted as you interacted with him? Did you ever get to know the guy at the gym with the ripped abs and find him hideous after he opened his mouth? This is real.
I believe in “energy compatibility” or “energetic attraction”
I define this as attraction based on the dynamics of personal interaction with another; it is the organic synergy that occurs when two people interact. Combined with what we find to be physically attractive, we can look at this as “holistic attraction”.
You may meet someone who you’re not too excited about at first glance. Who knows, the visual level may totally break the deal without further investigation. Only when we take the time to engage someone, to “feel” the dynamics of how we connect with each other will we truly know we are attracted.
I’ve met “model type” women, only to be permanently repelled by their personalities. That in turn has actually made these women less visibly attractive. It’s as though the objective standard of what is hot dissolves. I’ve also met women who are far from the Western profile of “hot” and have found myself delightfully surprised to wind up attracted to them.
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So simply take the time to get to know someone
Don’t let what you see stop you from finding out what is on the inside. When I say “energy” in this context, I am talking about the degree to which your interplay with someone “clicks”. We all have energetic dynamics in our relations with everyone we know. These connections or disconnections are what truly make or break our relationships. So that’s the real acid test of the guy with the ripped abs. Are you energetically compatible? Does his energy make him hot or hideous?
Someone may pop up in your life who doesn’t quite cut it right of the bat. Romantic involvement may be the furthest thing from your mind. But I believe that people really do come into our lives for a reason. Don’t push anyone away. “The one” may be right under your nose, but you could be ignoring him based on your idea of what society has conditioned you to find attractive.
Challenge that. Don’t become a slave of “herd” mentality. This is about finding who your heart really wants to connect with. It’s about finding true love.