The SW Experts | Bar (Fly) on a Wall
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Bar (Fly) on a Wall

fly on the wall

Where does a relationship coach go to get fodder for their articles and advice for clients? Uh, how about the one place that, despite the massive business of online dating, still commands such a presence in the dating world. Za’ bar! So I, your neighborhood friendly coach and student of the human condition, would like to impart some bar observations that will either entertain you or help you avoid the suffering of dating fools. Read on!

The Elephant Ninja

We’ve all seen him. He’s the guy at the bar with his eyes on a gal. He looks at her with all intentions of going up to talk to her but instead of walking directly to her, he creeps. He takes two steps, stops and looks up at the sports screen. He then takes two more steps and has a sip of his beer. At some point he’ll act as though he’s looking for a friend, head to the bathroom and just happens to reposition himself right behind her when he comes back. He sees this as slick (like a ninja) and she could see it coming from a mile away (like an elephant). Are you the elephant ninja? I hope not. Confidence goes far in this dating world my friend. Be who you are, SWIM Backwards, and you’ll be fine.

Text on the Beach

This has pretty much become the new normal for two people to be together but on their own communication planets, phones glued to their cold dead hands. Do they look at each other? Uh, sometimes. Do they seem happy? Actually yes. Why? Because it’s the new normal silly! They don’t remember the good old days of two people sitting at a bar in awkward silence but with no phone in hand. So, while I poke fun at a traditional communication gap, I do have a question. What happens when text is all you know and you need to iron out some relationship issues? Think about it.

Birds of a Feather Talk Together

Two couples having drinks and hanging out. But, he talks to him and she talks to her. That is the way of the world at a bar. Is there any catch-up time or conversation for the couple? Maybe if one-half of the other couple gets on the phone or uses the bathroom. Otherwise, not so much. This is an interesting relationship test and potential crutch. On one hand, there is absolutely nothing wrong with friends catching up with each other in pairs. On the other hand, if you want to the bar with only your significant other, would it be hard to communicate? General observations would say yes.

Both ‘Text on the Beach’ and ‘Birds of a Feather Talk Together’ are reflective of an environment that is becoming increasingly tech savvy and communication foolish.

The Morning After Chill

It’s so easy to spot two people that just met, had sex, and are at the bar the next (mid) morning. What are the signs you ask? Well, for starters, one (but not both of them) are initially attached to the other in that ‘we’re newlyweds’ kind of way. The other isn’t having it and considers this bar visit a goodbye of sorts. Then there is a long cold chilling mood for all who are watching the show unfold as newlywed person realizes they were used. Ouch! What does one say here except to note the morning after being a forecast to the night before if we decide to put our head before our hearts when the iron’s hot.