How’s your sex life? If you’re thinking, “oh…not so good”, you may want to consider one issue that basically ruins sex for couples. The question is: Are you present during sex? This is a common road block to a healthy sex life that many people are not aware of.
Life is so busy that it’s usually very difficult to take the focus off of everything you have to deal with. Just stop and think: Where is my mind right now? Is it focusing on this article? Is it thinking about what I’m going to do after I read this article? Is it multitasking?
Are we ever really present? When you focus all of your attention on one thing, it works out best, no matter what you’re doing.
The same rule applies for sex. Has someone ever said something like this to you:
“Honey…where are you?….I know you not with me….”
Well, answer the question! WHERE WERE YOU? Were you making your grocery list? Were you thinking about what’s on the desk in the morning? Were you ANYWHERE else but having a connected intimate moment with your partner?
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So what do you do?
Clear your mind and forget about everything else. Pause. You don’t multitask or plan your day during sex. That bastardizes the experience. It is surprising how many couples face this issue and don’t even realize it. The beauty is that once people become aware of it, they can change it.
So recognize the reality of what you are doing and SAY IT TO YOURSELF: “I am having sex. Everything else will wait.”
On nothing but your partner and the feeling. Don’t let your mind stray from satisfying your partner. Maintain the energetic connection. Be willing to step outside of your comfort zone to please her. Eye contact is critical. Don’t break it, especially during climax. But remember, you’ll only reach to a good climax if you keep your mind in the bedroom.
Feel the reality of what is happening in that moment. The reality of human connection at its most intimate level. The reality of sharing humanity’s most pleasurable act.
Being present can be applied to anything in your life. Bringing total focus on whatever task you engage in will give you the best results and the most satisfaction. Don’t allow sex to be just another thing on the to-do list. Make sure you’re present. Make it count. Don’t let this one make it the beginning of the end.