There are many reasons couples have problems, money and time are often at the top of the list, but beyond that, their sex lives can suffer for years before anyone addresses it. Sometimes they let the issue simply fade into the background. So what seems to be the problem and how can you fix it?
The Biggest Sexual Problem Modern Couples Face
Men tend to be ashamed or afraid of speaking to their partners regarding their wants and desires. Women tend to secretly be sexually unsatisfied without the knowledge of how to communicate their sexual needs and also occasionally, women have lists of sexual activities that they refuse to participate in. With proper communication, both parties can fix these problem.
No matter how hard it may seem, you have to speak with your partner regarding your wants and needs. As an example, if this issue was food, instead of sex, you wouldn’t have a problem telling your partner your likes and dislikes. The moment sex becomes part of the equation most people tend to stay mum on the topic for fear of being judged or rejected. So how you can face the biggest sexual problem and tell your partner the truth without making them feel inadequate? Do it together. How should you fix the problem?
Play this game:
Sit down with your partner and come up with an agreement to hold all judgment. Now, each of you take pieces of paper (pick two colors of paper so you don’t mix them up) and write down all of your sexual needs in one sentence. Take the pieces, fold them in half and place them in the jar. Take turns pulling out a piece of your partners paper and read it out loud. If it’s something you will consider, place it in the other jar (which you will refer to later) and move on to the next piece of paper. If it’s something you will not consider you have to talk about it. But with your answer, you must say:
- What about it makes you uncomfortable (with no judgment) – be honest and open with your partner regarding the fears you have regarding their sexual needs.
- What solution you will offer in replacement of the offer – if for instance your partner asks you to give him a blow job for one full hour, maybe you negotiate down to 30 minutes.
- One sexual need you will give up for not participating in that offer – if he can’t have a need fulfilled, neither can you, relationships take compromise and each of you have to sacrifice for the other.
[Tweet “How to ensure that both people in a #relationship are sexually satisfied #sex “]
Take the jar full of the needs the two of you agreed to and keep them by your bed for reference later. On a date night, pull out one of your partners needs and fulfill it. The point is to get the biggest sexual problem by being open, honest and loosing the fear of judgment. Remember, your partner will love you no matter what and they want to fulfill your needs, if you tell them what they are.