Well, you might have guessed I am All-American. I enjoy seeing the cheerful faces of the British people who run and contribute to these dating sites. I thought it might be fun to compare the rumors and some facts I know between how young Brits and young Americans date?
I recall distinctly a young professional from England saying, “Oh we get drunk, then hook up and then just keep going with it until we marry over here”
I am not certain how wide spread that is there? We did that a lot in high school in the States. Some in college and some carried that tradition on into professional lives, all mostly without the marrying. Now before I pick apart this stereotype don’t forget I am Old English too. We came to the States in the 1600’s, my family that is. Therefore, a part of you is for sure still in me. Now for the critic.
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I’ll never forget one phone call to England that made me feel very naive’. Moreover, when I visited London and saw how large and grand your government building were downtown I realized how puny our 200 plus year Civilization is to many others. Still, we brought many of those hardcore religious types here from Europe, and for all their weirdness and wildness, they do carry a unique brand of wisdom – especially when it comes to the body and/or sex. Can I share with you some of our canny dating wisdom or maybe you know of it? Of course, as all know religious fanatics have sex on their mind a lot, so this is well-brewed and distilled dating cunning.
In high school, the guys here think they are the hunters and at least in Texas it was open and plentiful season. Maybe I came from a privileged vantage point seeing these dynamics since I played football and in Texas football is King. Again, the kind where you throw the ball for touchdowns and everybody is always tearing the ligaments in their knees. Man, though the girls seemed willing, we partied a lot, and you can guess the rest.
Here’s where the story takes a twist and maybe you heard parts of this wisdom in other columns of mine. In college, one could still hook up. However, we guys began to get a little more savvy. We realized women were hunting us all along! It was a revelation, living Artemis’s and Diana’s all around we huddled together and conjured strategy. We dated a little less overall than high school, which frankly was too much of a buffet to do anyone’s morals any good.
Going from predator to prey opens many considerations. These college girls sometimes wanted sex, but had a mind for marriage and connections too. Interestingly the prey ends up using a similar success strategy to the predator. We narrow our fields we were exposed ourselves, we realized the rating systems, unconscious and conscious, in short we identified the types of tigresses (or hungry gazelles if we didn’t have a lot of testosterone or wealth) that might want to eat us. Sound jaded. On the other hand, just practical?
The women seemed fluidly to continue with their same cool game. One had to learn when a woman was just being nice by talking to you, or maybe one who thought you a sweet fool for a weekend meal and then to be disposed of. No matter the nation, a guy has gotta protect his heart too.
The game did not change much in the professional world, though it narrowed even further. A drunk easy one-nighter was harder to come by. Many gave up drinking all together and buttoned up their sh…t by reforming through church, alcoholics anonymous and career training to beef up the sweet meat of their place on the “menu”. Some turned to sex mania. There is a lot of spice in the States. Some found their loves early, had children and used the rituals of discipline that had got them that far to keep their families moving forward. Some married for passion and/or love when an odd leopardess found their humor, smile and creativity something they could not go on without enjoying. Does it sound like a cunning game?
I love British television, but often you portray the subtleties for only the aristocrats and only in margins. Or I am missing part of it. I do know French movies are onto this sh…t fast and furious. Therefore, the game must be real. Can you begin playing it where you are? Will it help? Are you into something you are not sure of what it is? All possibilities. Is it unfair to women to say they are cleverer, at least in this area, than men are? Let me know. In addition, I am open for phone counseling sessions – Desperate or otherwise.