Committing to Non Commitment Dating
One of the pitfalls of being over 40, single and a woman is your pool of male choices shrinks considerably. I am absolutely into sport dating. At this stage of my life marriage interests me little. I already have a child and I am uninterested in having more. I am 100% okay with the idea of just dating, no commitments and no end game. The problem is, finding a man in my age range who wants the same is difficult. There are lots of men out there. There are just not as many men I am personally compatible with who share my values.
One type of man I meet is the one who wants to finally try his hand at monogamy and commitment after twenty plus years of sowing his wild oats. He has some traction. He’s educated and has some tangible assets most likely a home. Now that he’s accomplished everything material he desires (or has come close), he’s searching for a life partner to share those things with him. He may even want to begin a family. On paper, I am attractive to this type of man. I have a similar life experience and I am still of childbearing age. In his head, he and I can settle down swiftly make a couple babies and live happily ever after. In reality, I just simply am not that chick.
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I am not interested in starting a new family. My child is a teenager, I have zero interest in changing diapers and selecting pre schools again. I am not looking to merge my assets with someone else. I tend to leave mergers and acquisitions to corporations. What I have, I’ve earned and if we don’t work out in five years I am not interested in the complex separation process. The idea of being able to simply leave is attractive to me. I also am not in a rush to define my connection to a partner. Rushing to granting titles and setting a wedding date isn’t why I am dating.
I date because I am at a position in life where I desire companionship. I prefer to have experiences not boyfriends. I want to option of having a quiet night of Netflix & chill or going to the Avenue of the Arts and enjoying a musical. My preference is to do these things with someone I am sexually attracted to, but I am not desperate to be claimed. I don’t want to be your future wife. I simply want things to evolve organically and if we create a substantial connection along the way, then we are fortunate.
When meeting new people who are potential future dates the question often is; What are you looking for? When my genuine response of “nothing” happens it makes my pool of potential dates dry swiftly. While I honestly mean I am looking for nothing that doesn’t mean I think nothing of you. If you’ve caught my attention enough that I consider going on a date with you, congratulations you are pretty exceptional. Don’t be surprised though if the only thing I decide I want after than date is date number two.