You think of “The Graduate” movie when you think of this subject – and if you don’t then you need to go to your friendly neighborhood search engine and look it up – it’s about a young guy that gets seduced by an older woman and then falls for her daughter.
It’s not movie night and I’m not Turner Classic Movies so that’s about as far as I’ll review that – but it does bring up some stuff I’d like to tell you about dating older women – which I think has two meanings that I’d like to explore.
First of all, in terms of raw age, I think it’s a bad idea for younger guys to be dating older women – and not for the reason you might think. You see, women in terms of dating mature faster than guys – in fact, I think they have a 10-year head start so a 31-year old woman might be better off with a guy in his upper 30’s/early 40’s in terms of dating smarts. That same 31-year old woman might enjoy the youthful energy of a 21-year old dude but she’s way ahead of him in terms of life experience and maturity.
By the way – let me stop the article here – I’m not talking about “hooking up” – because that’s totally different. My teachings are about long-term relationships and if casual sex is your thing – which I’m not judging one way or the other – then my stuff isn’t for you if that’s the case.
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So, long-term relationship-wise the odds of a 31-year old woman being able to put up with a 21-year old over time are low – I’m not saying they’re impossible because Doc Love understands grey areas – but if we were in Nevada bookies would take your action if your bet was to put money on that relationship going the distance.
Now, turn the clock ahead and maybe a 61-year old guy and that same lady, who’s now 71, have a much better chance – life experience/maturity/age all shrink the age gulf as more time goes on, IE, the differences aren’t as stark.
If you’re a younger guy that likes older women and vice versa I’m not telling you not to do it – I’m just saying that more times than not this stuff ends in frustration if you’re looking for a relationship to go the distance.
I mentioned there is a second meaning and when guys talk about dating older women they might not be necessarily talking about an age difference between the two of them but the fact that the ladies are mature – I teach on my dating women radio show that when men or women are 18-22 they are in the “ding dong” stage – that is their emotions in dating can swing with the breeze blowing the wrong way – so it’s tough to evaluate either one for long-term because there are so many changes going on.
However, as we age we (hopefully) get more mature and when you’re dating ladies that are way out of the “ding dong” stage then you better be too. Since women innately get dating a lot better than guys do, you, as a man, should understand that you’re not going to play games and pull silly nonsense on a lady with some life experience under her belt – a lady that’s worth it, that is. She wants a GENTLEMAN that will show her respect, affection and romance while still being his own guy.
Remember guys, dating older women can be great – as long as you’re ready for them – because they don’t mess around!