I am sorry to write you sounding like a scorned guy with stereotyping women into the Barbie or someone from the Housewives series but someone has to say something! “I get it” that there is a ton of pressure on women to look good and that there are numerous procedures to combat aging, but seriously this is getting out of hand!
It’s one thing to start worrying about wrinkles at 40 but some women I have dated in their early 20’s have been getting Botox treatments already! I don’t want a frozen faced girlfriend and I already have problems trying to figure out female emotions; but now I can’t even read their face to get any clue of what they are thinking!
Don’t even get me started about what women are doing with their over-enhanced lips! Why would a doctor even put his name on those disastrous clown mouths that he is creating? What many women don’t understand is they are all starting to look like clones of each other! With trending hair styles and clothing to go along with these cosmetic addictions, it is starting to remind me of a Barbie play date that my sister used to have with her school friends.
I am an attractive, financially successful 34 year old man that just wants to meet a natural woman who enjoys who she is, without having to spend her life savings on trying to be someone else. I know I sound like an asshole lumping women into this category but I am frustrated with how many ladies are falling into this competitive trap of looking perfect! Not all men like the Kim Kardashian types! Yeah it’s sad that I even know who she is, but that is because we all have to hear about her constantly!
I want to be in a committed relationship with someone who has a personality, likes to laugh, wants to go for long walks on the beach, (yes, I’m serious about that cliché line) and someone who is comfortable in her own skin.
[Tweet “I want to be in a committed relationship with someone who has a personality”]
Is that really a lot to ask?
Thanks Sybersue, Scott
Hi, and thanks for writing! This is such a great question and I know you are speaking for lots of other guys out there who are also frustrated about this scenario. My first question to you is; are you attracted only to these high maintenance women without realizing it? There are definitely women out there that are naturally pretty and don’t go crazy on cosmetic procedures, but sometimes our checklists have an unrealistic priority in “the looks department” so we subconsciously bypass these amazing ladies.
There are a lot of single men and women out there complaining about how difficult dating is and there can be some desperate measures taken to look good and stand out! Competition is fierce especially after 30! You are right that some women are taking things too far and it is becoming an obsession rather than just a light anti-aging remedy. It can be a full time job and cost a fortune to keep up with all these procedures. I still shake my head at how so many women seem to have the money to do this. (Saying that I am sure many of them have an over extended line of credit or maxed our credit cards; which is a very scary thing in many ways!)
You mentioned that you are financially successful and attractive which means you are going to attract many women towards you, especially the one’s looking for a husband! You’re a catch and they know it. It is up to you who you allow into your circle and it might be time to change that up in a big way. Try out different venues that are more low key and less popular. Don’t hang out with the same high rolling crowd all the time; that will draw more HM women than bees to a bee hive!
Diversify your life in all areas. If something isn’t working and it is becoming a big pain in the ass then you have to alter what you are doing to bring the happiness back in. Repeating the same things that irritate you a daily basis will start to drive you mad and will also change how you come across to others. Don’t allow yourself to become jaded towards women because I promise you, there is someone special out there for you and you are half way there to finding her.
Take some time away from this frustration and do something out of the box that you haven’t done before. Loosen up any patterns where you have become stuck and that aren’t working for you anymore. It’s not as difficult as it sounds and I can tell you how much lighter you will feel getting yourself out of this rut you are in.
Don’t indulge in conversations with women that you are not attracted to. Be polite but remove yourself from meaningless interaction if it feels wrong. Get outside and enjoy nature’s natural beauty and stay away from establishments that draw that certain type of crowd you’re not interested in. You’re the boss of you and if you want something better in your life, go out there and get it. You have already started the process by writing to me and getting mad about what isn’t working for you. That is the key to making the necessary changes! You are emotional about it which shows that it is important to you. That’s a really good thing!
Stay positive and focus on what you want, not what you don’t want, and it will start to come your way. Let me know how things go in the next few months.