Are you going down relationship memory lane and thinking about rekindling an old love affair? Stop and ask yourself these five questions first!
Did this person hurt you?
Name one person you know without any imperfections? Right now I’m imagining a million blank stares into space as we all ponder this question. There are no perfect people. In a relationship everything we do affects our partner in some way. Sometimes we hurt each other both intentionally and unintentionally. Which is worse? Think about how you felt when your love was slowly decaying. Do you remember the agony of the separation you had to suffer through? Eventually your sufferings healed with time, but remember what you went through. Does it warrant this person a second chance at your heart? Think about it.
Can you forgive them and ultimately forget the past?
Forgiveness and forgetfulness aren’t the same. If you have chosen to forget but not forgive don’t consider stepping back into this relationship. Every time you two are in relationship bliss you can’t use the wrong doings of the past as ammunition to assassinate your partner. To give round two of this relationship fair chance forgiveness has to be on the menu. You’ve reached a happier place in your life when you’re able to forgive those who have wronged you. Essentially an even higher place when you forgive the one who broke your heart.
Do their actions reflect their words?
You may have heard “once a cheater always a cheater”. Some may argue that in most cases this is true. Are there exceptions to the rule? Yes. How can you tell the difference? Action! Anyone can tell you exactly what they believe you’ve been waiting to hear, but only a few will show you by their actions. Does this person call when they say they’re going to call? Are they late or don’t even bother showing up to your dates? Their actions will unveil their true intentions.
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Can you imagine your life without them in it?
How long has it been since you two separated? What have you learned about yourself since the demise of this relationship? What don’t you like about your life without them in it now? If you honestly can’t spend another minute without them, don’t! If you can imagine your life without them for good, then don’t turn back the hands of time. Why bother? You’re doing great. Keep moving forward.
What does your heart truly want?
Think about how children can play make believe for hours on end and never grow tired. They’re laughing, running, and drawing all because that’s what their heart’s desire. No need for responsibility or dreading Monday mornings. Pure bliss! Have you gotten clear about what you truly desire? Is this the right thing for you to do at this time? When logic ways you down and you can no longer reason your way out, it’s time to let your heart make the decision. It’s your friend. It’s there for a reason. Love wins!
If you’ve answered no to more than one of these questions then don’t look back. Keep marching forward! On the other hand if you’re persistent enough, completely true in professing your love for this person, and are willing to do what it takes to win them back then go right ahead. You’ll have to be extraordinary this time because you’ll want to seal the deal. There are exceptions to the rule, but only if you decide to become one. Occasionally there are times in love and relationships when people deserve a second chance.
Think about it first! Good luck!