So, in my last post, I talked a little bit about discovering your charm. That led me into the topic for this post which is on uncovering and embracing the BEST you. Some of you have lived a life where you have been told who you were or who you were supposed to be. You were never given the opportunity to embark on your own journey toward discovering who you really were. Self-discovery is an important part to learning yourself, appreciating who you are, and creating expectations for how other people should treat you. In a nutshell, embarking on your journey and living out the BEST you possible, is the first step to truly loving yourself and loving others.
When you are living out the best you, it is almost an infectious need to help others do the same.
Have you ever wondered what was so special about you? Maybe you wondered why your friends took a liking to you or even why the guy you were dating chose to be with you? Maybe none of these questions apply to you, maybe they do. I’m not afraid to say that there have been times in my life when I have asked both of those questions. Someone can’t just say to you, “ Hey you, yea you, you’re special because of x, y, and z”. It sounds nice, but it has to be internalized. Some of us have been in unhealthy friendships where we were depositing way more than we were withdrawing. Just in the same, we have been in unhealthy relationships with men, who have cheated on us, neglected us, hurt us, and abused us. You don’t have to admit it to me, that’s not important. But, what is important is admitting it to yourself. We have all been in situations where we have allowed ourselves to be treated with less respect than we deserved. However, owning who you are, expecting that others will treat you with respect, and embracing the BEST you, helps you in discovering your worth.
“If I am not good to myself, how can I expect anyone else to be good to me?”
― Maya Angelou
So tell me, who are you? At your very core, once stripped away of everything that seems to be important, who would you be? Who would you be without your house, car, clothes, name-branded items, jewelery, shoes, handbags, etc. Who are you? Who would you be without your job, money, status, recognition, professionalism, license, and degree. Who are you?
I’ve asked myself this question, many times. This is what I have come up with…
At my very core, I am flawed, sin-filled, but also filled with grace. Sometimes unsure of what I’m doing, and where I’m going, but always sure of my God who loves me. Made in the image of perfection, of love, kindness and sacrifice. At my very core, I am broken but healed through Christ. I’m funny, intelligent, and passionate. But, sometimes too loud, honest, and sarcastic. I have come to terms with these things and when all else (My license, degrees, apartment, car, money, clothes, physical appearance, everything) fails, when all else is taken away, I will still stand before you. No one can ever take the BEST me because it is who I am at my very core.
She is more precious than jewels, and nothing you desire can compare with her. Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor. Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace. She is a tree of life to those who lay hold of her; those who hold her fast are called blessed.
Your Journey to embracing the BEST you!…
“A woman who is convinced that she deserves to accept only the best, challenges herself to give the best. Then, she is living phenomenally.”
― Maya Angelou
Now, I bet you’re saying, “That’s nice and all, but how do you get there?” It’s a great question. A question, I have had to ponder many times before. What I have learned in my own journey I want to share with all of you. In the next week I will share with you all the steps that can be taken in discovering and embracing the BEST you. One of the first steps that should be taken is eliminating negative thoughts/sayings and actions that have been displayed toward you. This is the beginning toward acknowledging your worth and growing into a healthier you.
Throw Away Those Negative Thoughts!
We have all heard them, we may have even said some to ourselves. You’re too fat, your hair is too nappy, you’re worthless, You’re too dark, who would ever want you, there is nothing special about you, so on and so forth. Wherever your hurt has come from, whoever has manipulated that hurt, even if it was you, LET IT GO. Reclaim your fierceness because you are a dynamic human being! It may have been your families who told you or made you feel that you were ordinary, overweight, not attractive, unintelligent, too dark, too light, too loud, too quiet, too independent, too needy, etc. It may have even been society that has shown you who you were supposed to look like, how you were supposed to act and what attributes you were supposed to have. It may have been a bully in school who continuously talked about your flaws, made crude jokes about you, laughed at you, and outcasted you. It may have been you, looking at other people and wishing, hoping, needing to look, be, and attain what they have in order to be worthy. Wherever your hurt has come from, whoever has manipulated that hurt, even if it was you, LET IT GO. It’s not easy to undo everything you have known or learned that has hurt you. You have to learn how to love yourself all over again. Not just say you love yourself, but walk in that love. Without throwing away the thoughts, sayings, and actions that have hurt your self-esteem, you can’t progress, and move on to a healthier you. This has to be step number one. The second step if forgiveness. After that follows, rebuilding, envisioning and barrier predicting. Check back in a couple days to hear how not forgiving yourself and those who have hurt you can hold you back from becoming the BEST you.
Let me leave you with some thoughts…
- You are worth it
- You are fierce
- You deserve to be loved
- You deserve to be pursued
- You deserve to have genuine friendships
- You are fearfully and wonderfully made
- You are a child of the most high King
- One day you will be living out the BEST you!
If you have been on a journey towards understanding your charm or discovering who you are, share your story please! Share the steps you took and help other women out by testifying to your journey. Ask questions, make comments, and add other helpful ways for women to discover their own charm. Always be willing to help the woman on the right of you and never be afraid to ask for help from the woman on the left of you!
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“What I know, I know. What I am unsure of, I learn. What I do not know, I enlist others to help me understand.”
– Shanay J. Russell.
Share your story either through commenting on here or emailing at [email protected] Please check back in the next week to hear all about how step two (forgiveness) can help you on your journey.