We’ve all dated the guy who loves to toot his own horn, and maybe rightfully so, when it comes down to finding a quality man, how do you know if he’s cocky or just confident?
Finding a Quality Man; Is He Cocky or Just Confident?
He Might Be Cocky If…
I once casually dated a guy I nicknamed Mr. Cocky and he absolutely was that—cocky! He thought that because he was single and good looking and I was single and good looking mixed with the fact that neither one of us was looking for a relationship that it meant we would be screwing the second we met! Now, I’m absolutely not a prude, and I have had sex on a first date (OK a few first dates), but to make that assumption when we hadn’t even met yet was just plain rude and scummy.
Cockiness is very different than confidence. Here are some tell tales signs that you are dealing with one cocky bastard:
- He flaunts his “stuff” (and I don’t mean his package) because he values materialistic things rather than style and quality
- Having a conversation is almost always one sided, meaning you are the one listening while he holds court and does all of the talking about his favorite topic: him!
- Ambition is great, but if you have to be a ruthless, entitled, callous ass to get ahead in life then you’re just arrogant and cocky. You shouldn’t take pride in stepping on people to get ahead.
- They run from criticism and deflect their failures by blaming others. Nothing is ever their fault…ever!
Maybe He’s Just Confident
It’s quite possible though that this man who is tooting his own horn may be just a confident guy. There’s nothing wrong with knowing, and expressing, your awesomeness, but those of us who are confident do it with class! Here are some signs that your date is simply just a confident guy:
- He has a strong sense of self and does not define himself by his possessions.
- He is genuinely interested in the conversation and not only asks questions, but actively listens to the answers.
- He’s ambitious and has his eye on the prize, but the success of others is not going to make him feel threatened in any way. In fact, he’ll applaud others on a job well done.
- He realizes that he’s only human, accepts that he has flaws and that even he has really bad days (or months or years). He learns from his mistakes, takes responsibility for his actions and moves on.
There’s a fine line between being cocky or just confident and it can be hard to tell the difference when you are first meeting and getting to know someone. Confidence is inspiring; cockiness is a turn-off. My short stint with Mr. Cocky didn’t last very long because, like most cocky people, his fears got in the way. We were not in a relationship, and both expressed we didn’t want one, but his fear that I would move on to someone bigger and better got the better of him. Eventually I got sick of his cocky ways and moved on. Hopefully these signs will help you spot whether your date is cocky or just confident.