It’s Domestic Violence Awareness Month and I felt it was so important to share something empowering to anyone currently involved in an abusive dating relationship.
It could be abusive physically. Perhaps at times you’ve had to seek medical attention. Perhaps you’ve been, or are, in fear of your life.
I work as a life coach and I recall one lady who told me she developed a reputation for being Ms Accident Prone. The one who was tripping over her children’s toys or who walked into the cupboard door. All stories made up to hide the reason for her bruises and cover the abuse she was suffering from her boyfriend.
Sometimes the abuse isn’t physical but it’s in words. Words that cut and pierce to the heart. Words that crush self-esteem and self-confidence.
Sometimes it’s abuse through manipulation and mental torment. I had one client who told me her partner would take a pair of her shoes and put one foot in the fridge and leave the other foot in the bedroom. And other crazy stuff. All designed to make her think she was losing her mind. That’s mental cruelty.
[Tweet “You are not the problem #AbuseAwareness”]
If you’re dating someone who:
1. Makes you unhappy most of the time
2. Makes you feel you’re walking on eggshells
3. Blames you for everything
4. Makes you responsible for their happiness
5. Always puts you down in public
6. Causes you to doubt your competence
7. Is obsessively jealous and demands to know where you are at all times
8. And such like….
These are very clear signs of an unhealthy, toxic relationship. There is no love here. Love is kind. Love believes in you. Love supports you.
If you need help to leave
And don’t feel strong enough to end things, then talk to a trusted friend that you know who is understanding and will give you the emotional support you need to break it off.
You deserve better than this. This does not have to be your life.
Depending which country you’re in reading this there are helplines but simply go to Google. Google is your friend, just type in Domestic Violence Awareness and start there. Remember abuse/violence isn’t always physical, it’s verbal too.
You are not the problem
The problem is with them. They are often acting out their own fears and insecurities. They have the unresolved and misplaced anger. They are at fault. It is their issue. It is their drama.
You do not have to be a victim in this relationship. You can end it today. You deserve better. Decide today that this is no longer your story.
Feel free to email me if you would like further help or personal coaching.