With the Christmas holiday fast approaching, singles everywhere have two options: Dread the impending “Why are you still single” question at family dinner, or embrace themselves, the season, and find the fun in being single.
I choose the latter and have assembled some great tips from a few dating and relationship experts to get you in a festive mood.
Certified Professional Matchmaker and Dating and Relationship Coach
You never know how or when you will meet The One so don’t turn down an invite. However, I can tell you that you definitely aren’t going to meet them when you are sitting at home on your couch sulking because you are yet again single during the holiday season.
If possible, go to EVERY holiday party you are invited to….but go dateless. You want to seem approachable. If you catch a person’s eye but they think you came with somebody, they probably will think you are taken. Also, put your phone away. You want to come off as inviting, and having your face buried in your phone is not inviting.
Ladies, when you go out with girlfriends, no more than 3 WOMEN together at once. Men get intimidated by large groups of women so they will not approach if there is a gaggle of women.
Don’t let the “magic” of the holidays blind you when you meet somebody. Some people fall in love with the idea of meeting or having a significant other during the holiday season, but don’t allow yourself to overlook things that you normally wouldn’t be okay with. Those things will still be there long after the magic of the holiday season is gone.
The London Dater
Don’t be that person who waits until New Year to set your self-improvement goals. If you’ve identified a flaw that’s holding you back in your dating life, start fixing it today!
Karenna Alexander – Matchmaker and Dating Coach
Be Social—It’s an easy time to be social – there are lots of parties and fun opportunities abound – yet it’s also a tough time for singles because of the expectation that you should be coupled up. Many singles give up. Don’t give up! Take advantage of all the parties and go OUT OUT OUT. Even if you have to go to parties alone. Go alone. Just go go go and the more you go out, the more people you will meet and the better you will feel. Also, sign up for online sites and just date up a storm.
Gratitude List—Every morning write down 10 things you are grateful for. Shifts happen quickly when you do this.
Don’t think you can do it all.—If you are single with no children, focus on finding a mate. Don’t think you have to do it all and be Martha Stewart around the holidays and spend all week cooking up a feast out of House Beautiful. Basically, focus on one thing and get good at that.
Think good thoughts.—Single people I work with often have negative self-defeating patterns in their head, like “I will never meet my husband.” If that thought pops in your head, just gently turn it around. Tell yourself. “I have a great loving husband.” Say it with emotion and believe it. It will happen.
Beth Cone Kramer
The holiday season can be a challenge for the newly single — or even longtime single. How do you handle “plus one” invitations? Is it ever okay to bring a Tinder date? I’ve always considered parties as an opportunity to celebrate with friends and maybe even make new ones — or a potential date. Just show up in your most fabulous outfit and be ready to socialize, which, frankly, seems a whole lot better than needing to entertain someone you just met! If you aren’t comfortable going alone, maybe bring a friend.
Yours truly – Lisa Schmidt
We are all busy with shopping, planning and preparing for the holidays and a new year! When I think back on all the happiest moments this year, what strikes me the most is the growth, change and happiness I have been a part of. I have been truly blessed by strangers that have come to me for help.
‘And it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us!’ ~Charles Dickens
The magic of the holiday season is something so intangible, that it cannot be explained. It is something deeply personal and unique to all of us. Each of us feels it in a different way. Sharing that with others can be the greatest gift you are able to give. Random acts of kindness, volunteering to feed the homeless, helping a family in need. Those are the acts that can change lives and help to leave your impression on this world.
This is also a time of year when we are reminded of how much we are loved. But there are those who are without family or support. Take the time to be empathetic of strangers and aware of the world around you. Be filled with joy and look for those who are not. Lend them an ear, buy them a cup of coffee or share what you have in abundance.
There is still time to create blessings for you as well. Don’t forget to take time for you and what makes you happy this holiday season. What is your wish? Add your own name to that long list of gifts you will be giving this year.
May your hearts be full of joy and hope as this year draws to a close and a brand-new one begins!