How often do us women like to think we can change our men?!
We think if we could only get them to behave the way we want them to then the relationship would be perfect. But it’s not our job to change people. Or to fix people.
Especially as it doesn’t actually work!
It’s important to really bear in mind, you are not here to fix anybody. Don’t invest your time, your energy and your emotion in trying to get someone to change. People are who they are. If you feel the need to get them to change they are not the one for you.
Accept him for who he is. Once he has shown you who he is, believe it and accept it. If you’re unhappy with the reality then he is not Mr Right.
Don’t get into a relationship with someone who is unsuitable and then spend all your time complaining and being miserable. It’s better not to go down that road. And no, your love will not change him.
Remember not only to love and accept yourself but also to accept him for who he is. If you’re constantly trying to fix him then you’re not accepting him.
Turn that around for a second. Imagine if your partner was always trying to fix you how would you feel? You might even find it controlling.
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Instead, how about fixing you?
If you know what you really want in your life it’s easier to know what kind of relationship you need. I mean, if you don’t yet know what you want from life can you be clear on what you need from a relationship?
Someone who doesn’t yet understand themselves or who isn’t focused on where they are going in life is not going to attract someone else who is.
Today, before you leave the house, sit down and ask yourself:-
Who am I emotionally, spiritually, mentally, professionally?
What are my core values?
What are my deepest desires for my life? What am I prepared to do to get those desires? What are my innate qualities and abilities that I can use to achieve them?
Then write down your answers – it will help you see clearly who you are, what you want and what you do not want.
Now you will be able to quickly identify people that you meet who are in line with these values and hold similar ambition in life. It’s much better to choose a partner whose life values and ambitions are the same or complementary to yours.
Opposites may attract but they don’t make for long term commitment or life together.