I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Don’t yell at me! Game of Thrones is not my particular cup of tea. I said don’t yell! I know, I know, call me a boring chick who has no appreciation for quality television. One of my ex boyfriends tried to get me to watch it, and I fell asleep within ten minutes almost every time. Here’s the thing. Call me a prude, or a super lame girly girl, but I’ve never been a fan of sword fights where my favorite characters die during the first season, bizarre incest between royal families, or shows that are so complicated, you literally need a map to figure out where the hell any of the villages or kingdoms are during the show’s introduction. I’m sorry, but if I need to memorize a map in 2 seconds so I can figure out what the hell is going on, I’m going to yawwwwnnnn. The truth is…
Game of Thrones is Good for My Sex Life, But I’d Rather Watch Porn
I’d Have Sex with Them
I’ll admit, Danerys and all of her baby dragons are pretty entertaining. I can appreciate the story of a woman coming into her own power, after hatching some dragon eggs. And then of course there’s the super delicious passion with her husband Kaldrago. Umm, yes, I’ll take some more of that. Seriously, the sex scenes are pretty awesome. I know they say the soft porn is what attracts the men to the show, but honestly, while I tried watching it with an ex boyfriend last year, that was the only thing that kept me awake.
The Sexy Accents
The strange thing is that I’ve always been a fan of accents. You’d think that would be enough for me to fall in love with everyone on the show. Nope, not a chance. Maybe it’s the fact that I started the show too late at night, or the fact that I couldn’t get past the overwhelming number of throats being slit by swords, but all that gore really downgraded the guys and their accompanying accents to unappealing.
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A Not So Happily Ever After
Oh, did I mention the fact that they combined two words that should NEVER, EVER be put together in the same sentence, let alone an event on TV. “Blood” and “wedding”. Ok, technically it was called the “Red Wedding“, but we all know what that really stands for. The biggest problem with that episode, (aside from the ridiculous amount of blood), was the fact that Rob Stark died. I’ll never, ever be able to let that go! Yes, to be fair, romantic comedy’s are one of my go to genre’s, but still! I can appreciate a drama, and even a suspense or psychological thriller, or even a foreign film quite frequently. But that episode was too much! Between the blood everywhere, my favorite character, Rob Stark dying, and did I mention the blood?
I’d Rather Watch Porn
The bottom line: the show has some super sexy characters. Of course as soon as I got attached to one of them, they died. The sex scenes are incredibly hot, so it might be good for my sex life, but that’s about it. Honestly, I’d rather watch some porn with my man, than sit through that for an hour! With porn, I’ll have an even better chance of getting super turned on because I won’t have just watched five people die, and a brother and sister have sex!