We’ve all been there at least once in our dating lives— you break up for whatever reason and you move on, but the ex just can’t seem to let go. It’s tough, really, but what are you supposed to do with an ex who can’t say goodbye?
5 Ways to Get Rid of the Ex Who Can’t Say Goodbye:
1. Stop All Contact
As much as you might try to put the ex into the friend zone, whether out of pity or compassion for your ex-lover, all this really does is encourage the behavior you’re trying to stop. Yes, break-ups are tough on everyone, but we all have to put on our big kid undies and just deal with it when it happens to us. It sucks, but the best and most compassionate thing you can do for your ex us to stop all contact; doing so will help them get rid of that glimmer of hope they have of getting you back.
2. Own Your Role
Are you feeding into your ex’s behavior? Are you drunk texting the ex? Are you still connected through social media? Whether it’s consciously or not, your passive aggressive behavior of pushing your ex away only to pull him or her back in with a text or an update to your social media accounts is adding fuel to the fire. Tying in with rule #1 of stopping all contact, you also need to break your own habits of reaching out, whether directly or indirectly. Disconnect your lives in all ways: social media, family and friends acting as a third party, and no late night drunk texting.
3. Be Clear
Don’t just be clear, be very clear with your ex. This may mean that you have to be a bit brutal, but honesty is always the best policy. If things are really, truly over between the two of you and he or she has no chance of ever having you again, then you need to be very clear and tell them that. It might hurt your exes feelings, but a little bit of hurt might help them let go.
4. Move On
The best way to show your ex that it really is over between the two of you is to go ahead, focus on yourself and move on with your own life. Start dating again, go out with other single friends, take a trip or just take some time to reconnect with yourself. The point is not to hide for fear of running into the ex or out of guilt that you will hurt their feelings. You have to move on with your life and so do they.
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5. Take Legal Action
Now, I don’t advocate running to your nearest court house for a restraining order on every ex who still has feelings for you, but if things escalate past an ex who can’t say goodbye and turn into an ex who refuses to let go then that’s stalking. If the ex is showing up at your workplace, your home, the dark corner of the parking lot at the mall, then it’s time to take things a little more seriously and contact the local authorities.
Break-ups suck, plain and simple. Sometimes you can both walk away knowing that the end is truly the end, and other times one of you is left hanging on. It’s tough to deal with an ex who can’t say goodbye, but if you are firm and stick to your guns, eventually they will move on.