According to our friends at Wikipedia, the average weight of a man is 84.0 kg (185.2 lb) and 69.0 kg (152.1 lb) for women. Granted, most us of aren’t in the position to lose that much weight, however we can easily purge those averages within the first five minutes of a first date.
Putting your best foot forward with potential relationship material begins before you meet that lucky one! Want to avoid losing a date fast? Here are my top five pitfalls to avoid before and during your first date with that online Hottie:
1. Never stretch the truth regarding your statistics on your online dating profile.
Your age is your age, height your height and weight your weight. Setting up your date to expect a man standing at 6 foot and the reality is 5’7”, means you’ve disappointed your date without saying one word, not to mention leaving your date questioning your honesty on other topics. I once had a date say he was 54 in his online profile, but in person he admitted to being 64. By being even slightly dishonest in his presentation, he took away my opportunity to say that his age was a non-issue for me.
Stick to the stats you have – someone out there will like you just the way you are.
[Tweet “Being dishonest about your appearance disappoints your date straight away #datingadvice”]
2. If a picture’s worth a thousand words, then what’s in the background is worth millions.
Online daters are sometimes a bit download happy on the Selfie postings. Sure, you may think you look great, but you need to let your eye take in the surroundings before you post that picture. A cute man approached my friend on JDate. She texted me a picture of him, and when I enlarged it, I noticed a make-up bag, a bottle of Miss Dior, a blush brush and two passports. I pointed this out to my friend, and she immediately asked him what these items were. After a few minutes, he replied, “I was with my sister-in-law”. This left my friend wondering what her potential date’s brother would think of that response.
With one sloppy Selfie, he was out of my friend’s dating picture.
3. Take the time to read their profile, and if you like them, read it at least twice.
Even Mr. Claus checks his list twice before determining the naughty from the nice, and daters need to take Santa’s lead and double read those profiles. I recently went on a date and I casually mentioned my dogs. My date looked puzzled as he said, “Wait… you have dogs?” I was a bit shocked, seeing that I mention my two dachshunds in my profile. Seems he’s not an animal fan, and he promptly asked me if I knew the life expectancy of a wiener dog.
Obviously, dachshunds enjoy a longer lifespan than my dating life with this guy.
4. Putting up a smokescreen may put out the fire.
Be honest about your habits, especially if you smoke. Your habits may range from a love for tobacco products or a disdain for meat. Whatever habits you possess, own them with pride. Honesty is always the best policy, and you want your potential date to want you for you. My friend’s online dating profile states that he smokes occasionally and that he views everything as an occasion. By saying that he smokes, he knows that he’s eliminating a section of non-smoking men, and he’s totally OK with that. He wants a woman who’s open to a smoker, as he’s not ready to kick the habit.
You might just be your date’s next habit too, but only if you’re upfront and honest about yours.
5. Debby Boone over Debbie Downer wins every time.
When you write your online profile and you enter a dialogue with your potential date, you should keep the vibe light, fun and flirty. Of course this doesn’t mean to sugar coat anything, but it does mean you shouldn’t leave the starting gate talking tales of woe. I once had a first date ask me how my day was, and I told him it was “groovy fun”, and for the most part I was being honest (even though I had deadlines, a precocious dachshund that tore into my gym bag, and my personal trainer blew off our session, leaving me frustrated). When I asked him how his day was, he replied. “I can’t decide who I want to kill more- my boss or my Ex.” Definitely not a light, fun and flirty beginning that makes you want to learn more about your date.
Who wants to bring a Debbie Downer with murderous intentions to meet their friends and family? Exactly.
The goal of a first date is to gain a second date, not lose a date fast. Staying clear of these five pitfalls will go a long way in helping you maximize your first date experience. Just remember that the best way not to lose date fast is to serve up a meal that is made with honesty, plated with truth, and positively served by the one that may very well be going on a last first date!