It’s a gross fact that those in committed relationships often crawl online dating services looking to cheat.
A recent study concluded that out of the entire population of online daters, 30% are hitched! In addition to realizing that the person you cared for was a miserable liar, you’ve also been manipulated into becoming a cohort in their bedswerving ways. Not fun.
When it comes to online dating, you need to be your own human lie detector. Luckily for you, there are plenty of ways to catch a liar before you ever waste time meeting them face-to-face.
Don’t Ignore The Obvious
They don’t reveal their face in any of the photos. The bio is short and non-specific. They’re cagey about sharing his real name. These are the most obvious signs that someone is either hiding something, or may be catfishing you. Run the profile pic through a reverse Google image search. If it’s been stolen, a reverse image search can expose the real source. You’d be amazed at how many people ‘borrow’ a profile pic from a catalog!
[Tweet “Liars like using negation, and psychopaths are incredibly controlling #Dating”]
Big Gaps, Big Problems
They email you enthusiastically three times in one day. Then silence for a few days. The cycle repeats, leaving you feeling confused. The biggest red flag that someone is in a relationship is this type of inconsistency. If someone is into you, they’re going to value you enough to be consistent. If somebody is flaky about responding to messages, it’s a bad sign.
For someone hiding a significant other on the side, they’ll need the time to sneak off and message you. Be very wary about erratic contact.
Read Between The Lines
Read the following two dating profiles, and before you continue, decide which one is the liar.
Looking for a tall, handsome and interesting man to enjoy the sights of the city. No smokers! No weirdos! No liars! No drama. Currently I’m a model/entrepreneur and looking for someone with similar interests.
I’m Ellie. I’m a chef at a busy seafood restaurant and I love to eat! Looking for a nice guy who is into fitness and fun. I’m trying Crossfit at the weekends. I’m not doing so well, but would love a partner to join me! If this sounds like you, send me a message!
Who’s the liar? Well, technically they’re both liars as I’ve written them!
But it’s Jerica who has red flags pegged all over her profile. Model slash anything should be a huge red flag on it’s own! She avoids saying “I” or “me” wherever possible. A liar will be reluctant to use first-person pronouns. They’re looking to place distance between themselves and the lie.
Liars like using negation, and psychopaths are incredibly controlling. So by saying what they don’t want, they’re already exhibiting controlling impulses. By revealing what they don’t want, they’re giving you an insight into what they’re thinking about the most. Weird, drama-crazed liars will probably be thinking about themselves when they write a dating bio!
Finally, Jerica’s bio is short. Liars like to keep profile information limited, so they can’t trip up over the bullshit in the future.
Ellie, on the other hand, reveals her job and her interests. She’s already being open in her bio, unlike Jerica.
Online dating can be a minefield. Play your cards close to your chest, until you can decide whether or not someone deserves your time! Just don’t allow fear to make you jaded! There are still plenty of nice people out there, you’ll just have to dodge a few sucky ones before you find them!