In a world full of booty calls, hooking up and friends with benefits, I find it astonishing that marriage is still the ultimate goal of dating. With the U.S having the highest divorce rate in the Western world, I just find is maddening that we, as a society,negate that couples can still be in a committed relationship with or without a marriage license. So I ask, is marriage the only acceptable goal of dating?
Marriage: The Only Acceptable Goal of Dating?
As women, we are bombarded with articles in every popular magazine on how to “get him to commit” and “how to get him to the alter.” There is an entire section of the bookstore dedicated to dating rules and how to play games in order to “seal the deal”!
Fact: Grown ass women don’t play games! Oh, and a grown ass man won’t put up with that “The Rules” bullshit, so you better watch it ladies!
Instead of being obsessed with getting to the alter, how about taking a step back and ask yourself these questions:
- Am I happy with myself and my life?
- Does this person enhance/add to that happiness?
- Is marriage really what I want for myself, or is it what I’ve been told I should want for myself?
- Do this person and I work together as true partners and teammates, or are we simply co-existing in this relationship?
Some people want to be married, and some don’t, but don’t look at every date or relationship as “the one”; this person could be that one perfectly imperfect person you have been searching for or they might simply be your Friday night date for a few months. Take things slow! The number one goal of dating is supposed to be to have fun, not to rush to the alter.
[Tweet “It’s more important to plan a marriage than it is to plan a wedding #love”]
Alternatives to Marriage: Commitment without the ‘I Do’
Now, I’m not completely opposed to marriage. In fact, I’m not opposed to it at all—been there, done that! What I don’t agree with is that it is the ultimate, end all and be all; I don’t believe that is is, or that is should be, the only acceptable goal of dating. Love does not have to equal marriage in order for the commitment to be real and genuine!
In many states, a domestic partnership is not simply a commitment reserved for homosexual couples—heterosexual couples can utilize it as well! Maybe you’re happy just living together forever; this only gets sticky when medical and legal matters come in to play, but those can easily be avoided if you prepare in advance with wills, health care proxy documentation and a power of attorney. 16 states still have common law marriage. The options are endless and vary from state to state.
At the end of the day the only thing that matters is that you are content with your situation. It doesn’t matter if it’s a marriage, a commitment ceremony, a domestic partnership, or just two adults living together and making a commitment to each other. No one should how you label your relationship, and you shouldn’t get caught up in it either. The quality of the relationship is what really matters, not how you label it.