So I was seeing someone. Emily. She was fabulous. Gorgeous, talented, smart…all of the above. Seemed like things were going well. And they were.
Then, I got THE CALL.
Standard banter about our days. You know: “how’s your day?” (the most frequently asked question on Tinder). We had planed to get together for the evening. After talking about our days, she segued into letting me know that she had things going on in her life and was no longer in a position to proceed with further romantic involvement.
She said the four words every guy dreads:
“Let’s. Just. Be. Friends”
YES! That was GREAT! You know why? Because she STATED IT EXPLICITLY. Those words literally came out of her mouth (and, by the way, you just read a PROPER use of the word LITERALLY). There were no games, no hints to interpret, no wondering or sitting by the phone: NONE OF THAT.
JUST TELL US
So she gave me a gift: She saved me a ton of time that would have been wasted to guess work.
I respect her more for that. And I respect and accept her reasons. And that’s that. So we are now “JUST friends” (the worst thing ever: JUST having a friend).
Learn how to communicate effectively! I heard an example of a piss poor way to communicate a few weeks ago. I was out at a restaurant and there were two women sitting at the table next to me and I couldn’t help but eavesdrop:
“I mean…he CAN’T take a hint. He actually ‘double-texted me’.”
Ok. So if a guy texts you more than once, it stands to reason that “he can’t take a hint”. Let’s just PAUSE for a moment and think about that line of reasoning:
[Tweet “Please, Just tell the guy! STATE IT. Make it CRYSTAL CLEAR.”]
I’d argue that example is the ANTITHESIS OF COMMUNICATION! You are not communicating with him as a means of communicating to him. Furthermore, you are judging his use of a clear and standard means of communication. A “double-text”? Are you kidding me?
“I’m not interested. So…I like…won’t text him back and if he ‘double-texts’ me that’s like [Insert contemporary word society has attached negative value judgment to here].
Please, Just tell the guy! STATE IT. Make it CRYSTAL CLEAR. He needs to know. Then that’s it. Problem solved. You saved him time and you could have saved yourself time as you wouldn’t have be yapping over dinner about “double-texts” and not taking hints. There are far more important things to be discussed in the amount of time we have on this earth.