In a quest to better understand my fellow human, for six months I asked every person that I met to tell me about the last date that they went on. I heard some amazing tales, some that were like a 2015 version of “The Notebook”, and some that played out more like the food poisoning scene of “Bridesmaids”.
We all want to meet that special someone, and dating is the best way to do that.
We all know that the purpose of going on a date is to get to know somebody better, and we all know the do’s and dont’s of when we are on a date. However, it’s not just the conversation, if he reaches for the bill, how much he makes or how he dresses that you should be paying attention to.
Ladies, I am here to tell you that you can tell a LOT about a man and his intentions by the TYPE of date that he plans, none moreso than on the first 3 dates.
The following is a list of 3 green lights, and 3 red lights to keep in mind for those first few meet ups.
Green Light #1. The Plan Maker.
A confident male that sincerely wants to get to know you won’t be afraid to make plans to make this happen. When he contacts you with plans for a date, take that as the sign of a male who knows how to take the lead.
When a guy makes plans in advance to see you it shows that he actually wants to spend time with you and that you aren’t just a last minute sub-in when his other plans are cancelled.
Red Light #1. Dinner and a movie (This is a big one).
If in the first three dates he suggests “dinner and a movie”, forget it.
Aside from the fact that this is an incredibly lazy and UNCREATIVE date, if he thinks that the best way to get to know you includes sitting in a dark room and not speaking for two hours, then he might as well be dating Helen Kellar.
Green Light #2. The Day Date.
Day dates are a great way to get to know somebody in the early stages of courtship. It slightly lessens the sexual tension (in a good way) and puts more emphasis on the fun side of being in their company.
When he asks you on a date during the day, be it a coffee in the park or exploring some markets, take it as a big sign that he actually wants to enjoy your company, not just get you drunk and naked (there’s plenty of time for that later).
Red Light #2. “Come to mine?”
If in the first three dates he suggest a movie at his house, believe me when I tell you that he means “Come around for the first 22 minutes of Wedding Crashers, followed by 7-18 minutes of sex”.
I know this because I am a guy. I’ve been that guy. I know other guys. We talk about guy stuff.
You are not a sex-pizza to be delivered to his front door when he is feeling the urge for a slice.
[Tweet “Careful… Watch out for these 3 red lights! #Dating #FirstDate”]
Green Light #3. Variety.
When plans are made that don’t just involve just drinks, food, and sex (three things that are just as fun to do alone), it shows that he is making a real effort to be creative in your time together.
Take from this that you have been on his mind, and he is putting in mental effort as to what you guys can do next time you catch up.
The best date that I ever took a girl on was a road trip with a twist.
I gave my date an assignment a few days beforehand – she had to make a mix cd for the trip, and every song had to have a story behind it. We made one each and listened to them, sharing our stories as we went. Then when we arrived at our destination we had ice cream on the beach before going to a theme park…
…and had I not worn double denim I am all but certain that we would be married by now.
Red Light #3. The tag along.
The company we keep says a lot about us, and you do want to meet his friends eventually, but if you get a text along the lines of “I’m at the pub with the guys, come hang if you want”, don’t count it as a date, and don’t go. The truth is that if he wanted you there, he would have invited you to arrive with him, not just turn up later in the night.
The scary and exciting thing about dating in 2015 is that between Tinder (the best and worst innovation in history, second only to selfie sticks), every dating website on the planet (I don’t use them any more since I “matched” with my Mom – #fact), Facebook (because lets face it, when a couple says “We met through friends”, they actually met on Facebook) and the serendipity of day to day life, it’s not hard to meet people to go on dates.
Dating is fun, enjoy it. Have a standard, not just for a potential partner, but for your dating life too.