Memorial Day Weekend is the official start of summer. Americans by the thousands will begin that migration to beaches and parks. Dinner on the grill, the smell of sunscreen and bathing suits will dominate until that final sunset on Labor Day when we grab our boots, sweaters and jackets.
Summer gives us a lot of time to play in the sand. People in the dating scene, however, have the pleasure of playing in the sand all year long… we typically draw lines in it.
Every dater has made lines in the sand as they express their non-negotiables regarding a potential boyfriend or girlfriend.
Some behavior in a potential mate is welcomed, if not cherished. Other behaviors may make you run for cover faster than an unexpected summer thunderstorm. There are many deal breakers out there, from the addition of children to the subtraction of meat products. Here’s a look at the top five non-negotiables I’ve discovered during my adventures in dating.
Let’s see if they match your lines in the sand:
The Man in the Mirror
A person’s physical fitness level and their age are possibly the most judged on the dating scene. Many online profiles include pictures from marathons and Tough Muddders, a subtle hint that dating a person with love handles isn’t an option. Same goes regarding age. For some, if a potential date is older than 50, the only date coming their way may be an expiration date. This non-negotiable does put a limit on your dating pool, however for some these points are highly important.
A Pour and a Puff
Be it alcohol, smoking or something stronger, the use of substances is a turn-off for some. The amount of online dating profiles that state non-smoker outweigh smokers by a landslide. For a myriad of reasons, daters don’t want to get involved with others that use tobacco, drugs and alcohol.
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You are What You Do
Career choices can play a part in whether or not we accept a date offer. “I have a job- you should too” can be read in many online profiles. Some take it further, only wanting to date someone with a high six-figure salary. The recently laid-off may have a difficult time finding a relationship if others aren’t understanding of their situation. The reality is that some daters are very specific about the career achievements, work ethic and ambition held by a potential mate.
Different Sides of the Aisle
Being an American election year brings politics to the forefront and oftentimes is discussed within the first 15 minutes of a first date. Some daters even state in their profile,” Progressives need not apply” or “I’d never date a Conservative”, as a warning light that like-minded political beliefs is paramount in a potential mate.
You Did? I Don’t.
Many online profiles include something like “It’s complicated” or “Currently Separated” in the text. In person, your date may be sporting a tan line where a wedding band typically lives. Dating someone already in a relationship, even one that’s technically over but not legally over, is a deal breaker for some.
As you take off your flip-flops and feel the sand between your toes, think about your relationship deal breakers. Ask yourself exactly why they’re important to you, and if you would ever bend on a non-negotiable based on everything else a potential mate brings to the table. It’s important to remember that some non-negotiables may be augmented based on the dating situation, but never totally discarded.