We’ve all been there. We went on a few dates with someone who was less than sane, but due to our naiveté, foolishness, or just plain horniness, we persevered, thinking they would change. Hell, perhaps you the reader are yourself the insane one, but keep reading anyway. This article may help you as well in your dating life.
Even though we’ve all dated, and perhaps continue to date these individuals who are hopelessly flawed, it is never too late to stop this self-destructive behavior. While it may be alluring at the beginning (especially since crazies seem to be amazing in bed), you are heading down the road to a hell of a life with this toxic individual – literally. My advice to you is to run, and run as fast as you can when you encounter these people.
Here is what to pay attention to when dating someone so that you can usher these crazies out of your life before they get entrenched in it. And by “entrenched”, I’m referring to an “accidental” pregnancy (probably pre-meditated by him or her) since they desperately want someone to cling on to since no one else can handle them for very long.
1) The First Date
Everyone should be on their absolute best behavior on the first date. If they act even moderately nutty, flash anger, or do anything significant to make you uncomfortable or make you raise an eyebrow, then move on. If they can’t control themselves to put up their best front on the very first encounter, you know it will only go downhill as they get more comfortable. Tread with caution.
2) Their History
This involves everything from their prior dating history to their own personal history with family and friends. You’re going to have to casually ask questions to get this info, but it is probably the most valuable info you will need to determine whether this person should be in a straight jacket or a garter belt in your bedroom. In a nutshell: if they have had many very short term relationships which seem to always end because of their ex and not them, this is often a big sign. People don’t keep getting dumped or broken up with so frequently after a short time unless something is wrong with the dumpee.
Also, if they don’t have many friends or are estranged from their entire family because according to them their “whole family is crazy”, chances are, that person themselves is crazy and has been disowned. Run.
3) They Want To Fast Forward Everything
Some people go on two dates and Ms. Crazy is already discussing whether you two should move in together, what you should name your kids, and when should you open a joint bank account. Now, I do understand that two people can meet and fall in love overnight, however if you’re nowhere near feeling the same thing as they do, then something is amiss with that person for acting like this so soon. Run.
[Tweet “You can be someone’s boyfriend or someone’s psychiatrist, but you shouldn’t be both! #datingadvice”]4) They Try To Be Controlling
If the guy or girl you’re dating is trying to tell you quit your job, telling you how to dress and who your friends should be within a few dates, you’ve found a nut-job. This person will get increasingly controlling as time goes on. Unless you love to be dominated by someone, then RUN.
5) Drama Queens
Out of the blue, they will create drama. People who are drama queens can’t wait to engage in this destructive behavior because it is an addiction to them. The second that they feel comfortable with you, they will begin testing the waters with a little bit of drama to see how you react. The more you tolerate, the more they will unleash.
I once dated a major drama queen. We had already gotten hot and heavy after two dates. On only our third phone call, I had made a casual joke about a threesome (which she had jokingly mentioned before I did). She was so offended that she hung up on me and refused to talk to me for a week. Since I allowed that behavior to be acceptable, I opened the door to constant drama. Fortunately I escaped that ugly scenario… after two and a half years! Point being, if you see drama early on when everyone is supposed to be on their best behavior, RUN!
Don’t Walk, Run.
You can be someone’s boyfriend or someone’s psychiatrist, but you shouldn’t be both.
While it might be exciting in the short term, dating these mental patients will give you sleepless nights and unnecessary gray hair. It’s better to be single than be poisoned with their issues. Some of you like dating people with flaws because you want to “fix” the person. If you want to fix something, go become a mechanic or a handyman. You deserve much better than you think.
Good luck, and Date Great!