Romantic fortune favours the naïve. I came across a discussion last week where two ladies were discussing how love can keep you from cheating. I get my inspiration from everywhere and thought I would share my two pence with all you beautiful readers.
Love won’t get you on the bus. Love won’t put food on the table. Love won’t protect you from your first heartbreak or keep someone from cheating on you. Loyalty, respect, commitment, dedication, (lack of) trauma and growing up in a stable family environment are some of the qualities, traits and events that will shape you into the person you become. Trauma, whether it be divorce or abuse have profound consequences on what type of people we turn into especially if it goes untreated. You will either be a serial cheater or someone who would rather die before they cheat, either end of the spectrum.
Love serves a purpose in a relationship just like loyalty and respect does, and shouldn’t be expected to keep someone from cheating. The same goes for physical violence, if a father abuses his wife or his child does that mean he doesn’t love them? He loves them but he is acting out because of his own issues. Cheating is a form of acting out, people brought up in a stable family household without any trauma are less likely to cheat than those coming out of a broken home. Coming out of a broken home doesn’t mean you’ll unequivocally be a serial cheater.
I am not just putting cheating down to how you were brought up although it has to the greatest extent to do with it. Low self-esteem and narcissism are two other such traits that should serve as red flags for you. Someone suffering from low self-esteem will take what they can get when they can get it when the time and place is right. This shouldn’t be put down to looks some of the best people suffer from low self-esteem.
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Narcissism shouldn’t be confused with self-confidence. The narcissist doesn’t value people’s worth and will most likely be a serial cheater where the self-confident person knows what self-confidence can do for a person and will extensively be against destroying another person’s self-confidence.
Would you physically hurt someone you loved? Sure you wouldn’t but it’s happened before, so if someone can hurt the person they love why can’t someone cheat on the person they love? (Because they won’t get caught, have no morals, untreated trauma and other issues) Really really really ridiculously good looking people (I believe) are pretty under developed when it comes to certain situations and might set themselves up to cheat (topic for another day).
You can love someone and still cheat on them. That there is a fact ladies and gentlemen, it has happened before, it will happen again if you go by face value like we do present day as people like to stay single well into their late 30s waiting for god knows what.
Don’t be naïve people change their minds all the time. People get drunk and do regrettable things. Don’t be pessimistic but be a realist, humans are unpredictable.