So, you want better dates? Maybe you need to look in the mirror first. Many singles lament about the poor selection of available candidates in the singles world, but they really need to look at themselves first.
Be comfortable with yourself.
If you are not comfortable in your own skin or your own head, that will come through clearly to your dates and you won’t get the results you want. You must be comfortable in where you are at in your life, where you are going and most of all, in being alone. Yes, you need to be comfortable and happy being alone. No one wants to be a babysitter. People of both sexes can smell desperation a mile away. The more comfortable and confident and less needy you are, the more attractive you become.
If you want to date interesting people, make sure you are interesting yourself. People who don’t have many interests don’t have much to talk about. No one wants to date a bore. If you’ve been in a funk and you are stuck in your endless regular routine, it’s time to mix things up while taking the focus off of dating. Try new things – especially active things. This is a great time in life to take tennis lessons, take up yoga or try sailing. You will now have new things to think and talk about. And you will meet new people with your shared interests along the way.
Check your baggage.
Everyone over 40 has some kind of baggage. No one has lived this long without experiencing some disappointments and losses in their lives. But, how you handle those losses is very important in the dating world. If you carry your heart on your sleeve and trot out your painful stories about how he or she cheated or difficult break-ups, dates will be running for the hills in no time. Your relationship past is yours to sort out on your own. It’s not fodder for dating – at least in the initial stages. If and when a relationship begins to develop, these will all come to light and can be shared when appropriate. But, telling your tales of woe in early dating is nothing but a huge turnoff.
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Your physique is important.
Most of us struggle with the battle of the bulge over 40, but this is honestly a battle you fight aggressively if you are single and want to be successful in the dating world. Weight will make you look older than you are. Whether right or wrong, extra pounds are a red flag to potential dates as it appears that you may have self esteem issues. You don’t need to become obsessed, but putting in a solid effort to drop the extra weight will make you look and more importantly FEEL better – which will come through to your prospects.
Time for a style makeover.
As we get older it’s easy to wear what’s comfortable and look the way we always have. After possibly years of not paying attention, you will suddenly find yourself stuck in a different decade. Maybe it crept up on you, but it’s painfully clear to everyone you meet, including potential dates. The goal is not to look like you are 20. However, you can still be stylish at any age. Ask for style advice from your good friends.