Sade was your average city girl
She was pretty, smart and very sociable. But she didn’t talk to any guy without a known family name, or, at least, a solid bank account! Girl was out for pedigree and fortune. She was from a middle class family, but they started off poor. In the beginning, her family had scrapped to eat, but somewhere along the line, things had picked up and they rose to the middle class. But not before she had vehemently sworn that none of her own children would suffer the way she had! So she made up her mind to only date the rich…or children of the rich. She was beautiful and so had enough men vying for her attention…but she wasn’t about to date some dude with “Potential”. Nah! If she was unable to size up you before you asked her out, she was sure to throw the questions at you on the first date. “So what is family history like?” “What do you do?” “Where do you live?” “Tell me more about your parents”. If your history didn’t include some rock-solid, still-standing, family business (hopefully with a name she was familiar with), and your parents didn’t have some title prefixed to their name that echoed MONEY, be sure she wasn’t going to pick your calls anymore…unless of course you were doing good for yourself, and had built an empire of your own. Only then would she give you the time of day.
Knew she wasn’t going to meet her kinda guy at some fast-food joint, so she spent her pocket money hanging out at upscale restaurants and bars, sipping on Chapman (cheapest drink on the menu), and hoping some money bag was going to find her. Somehow, she had managed to convince herself that it was a sacrifice she was making for her kids, so it didn’t matter that she lied to her parents and exaggerated the costs of her school books and supplies, just so she can act and look the part…she bought the right clothes, taught herself how to apply expert make up, and properly positioned herself anywhere she was likely to meet a money bag! Her hard-work eventually paid off, and she met Temi one night at a birthday dinner she had invited herself to, held at a Five-Star Hotel. She had recognized his face, but she couldn’t place it. He had noticed her too, and had walked up to her to start a conversation. They had flirted and laughed briefly, and exchanged numbers so they could fix a proper date.
On the way home, she Googled him, and realized why his face seemed so familiar. He was from a well known, wealthy family, and ran a successful business of his own. Jackpot! He ticked every single one of her boxes.
So she waited for his call, and tried to play it all cool. But as cool as she tried to play it, she soon became putty in his hands, when he called. She was head-over-heels in her definition of love …and she thought he was smitten as well.
[Tweet “Don’t sit around waiting for a Prince Charming #NotAFairyTale”]
The relationship lasted three years
She enjoyed expensive trips, shopping sprees, access to high profile events and parties. She was also a well known face in the society pages, as she made sure she was often photographed with her man. This was a dream come true for her.
Her friends envied her, and clamored to be around her…especially so that they could meet rich guys, and get upgraded also.
Eventually, Sade had opened up to Temi about her family life, and told him all about her poor beginnings, and how her father had worked himself to the bone, to give them a decent life. She had even taken him to meet her parents, on two occasions. Alas, in the 3 years they had been together, Temi had never as much as suggested a trip to see his own family, and had restricted all her visits to his apartment. He was careful to keep her away from his family.
One chilly December night
Whilst out at dinner, he had told her of his plans to get married the following year. Her excitement had peaked and dropped within a micro-second, when she realized that she wasn’t included in the wedding plans. He was getting married to the daughter of his father’s friend, because the lady in question was an heiress, and he was expected to build an empire with her.
Sade was stunned…too stunned to speak. His words were wafting in and out…words about everything being his father’s plan, and how he could not go against the older man, especially since he depended on him for the capital he had used start up his business. When she recovered, she picked up her bag, and walked out of the restaurant, but not before giving him a resounding slap, to the shock of the other diners.
She made a realization that night…there were no Cinderella stories. Pretty much almost everyone looks out for their own interests, and no one has the time to help a social climber who hasn’t made the sacrifices that they have. When she got to her apartment, and lamented in the arms of her friends, they made her understand that fairy tales such as Cinderella almost always are exactly that…fairy tales! In a time when even rich girls are well behaved and versatile in the kitchen, the mythical advantage girls from poor homes used in hooking their Princes, has ceased to. Her friends reeled names of recently wedded celebrities, or people from rich families, almost all of whose spouses were from similar backgrounds and pedigrees.
It was a light bulb moment for Sade. In the end, she had agreed to date a middle-class guy. She soon graduated, and got a good job, while her beau rose through the ranks his workplace. She saw that she didn’t need pedigree or family wealth, to give her children the kind of life she wanted. All she needed was hard work and ambition.
The morale of the story is this…any girl who is still sitting around and waiting for Prince Charming is pretty much a dreamer! Women are not the only ones with a wish-list of attributes of Mr. Right; men have their own lists, tucked somewhere in their minds, and probably longer than those of the female counterpart. The beauty and grace of a modern day Cinderella are no longer enough. Men are looking for so much more. No man wants a woman who is going to sit around his castle, and spend the money labored for generations before him. He wants a partnership, a synergy that would grow the available wealth, and produce a turnover he couldn’t have achieved on his own. No, money is not love…but let’s be real, money problems create big issues in relationships and marriages. So yes, money is important in a relationship. A girl is allowed to dream, but if she wants to be queen in the castle, she has to bring more than just good looks, cooking skills and ample bedmatics to the table. Those trade secrets have long gotten popular…ambition, drive and determination are what sell now.
So the advice to every lady is simple…don’t sit around waiting for a Prince Charming, build yourself into that Queen that Kings need…and a King will find you.