Over the past few weeks, fresh into the world of dating. I have joined a few online websites. Some of which I have joined and then found there are an outrageous amount of hidden charges, making the website pointless without paying a charge which is the same cost as a small tropical island.
Memo to self. Start a dating website. Make a fortune. Tease broken-hearted people with the idea of love and become minted.
I decided a friend’s tip off of a site – who is now happily in a relationship – was the way to go. And it’s a freebie site.
I sign up and go through the awkward stages of writing interesting but yet not giving away too much in all the ‘About Me’ sections. My favourite has to be the ‘Why are you here’ section. I mean, isn’t it kind of obvious?
Do you drink? Do you smoke? Do you do drugs? Do you have pets? What was your cats mothers name? It does go on a bit.
Half an hour of my life whilst sipping my soy cappuccino I finally get there. Now to await the “Hits”. Do I really want to be hit online?
The next day I download the handy app to check how things are going and actually do my first proper search. Amazement with seeing over 300 messages, likes, profile views, winks, nudges, hits etc. Wow. I ignore the profile views and winking faces and fast track to the messages, as this is the important and somewhat tricky aspect to online dating.
As I begin sifting through the emails I come to the conclusions, quickly, most men do not know how to write to women and chivalry and romance is official dead. I learnt this from Machoman69 with his tasteful message of ‘spunk bucket’. Delete. Sorry Machoman69.
[Tweet ” I have come up with a male friendly, super female friendly guide for men “]
I find it so interesting reading these messages finding out what men think is acceptable to write to a stranger. This is an email to introduce yourself to a perspective person you might one day date and possible have a relationship with, and maybe marry. So, ‘Do you like to party?’, ‘Fit’, ‘Real or fake’, ‘Spit or swallow’ and ‘I will ruin you’, just don’t cut it.
After hours, days and countless chats with my friends, ‘Look at this dickhead. That’s how he’s attempting to pull women’. I have come up with a male friendly, super female friendly guide for men setting up online dating pages.
1. The Photo:
A photo of just you. Not you and your mates on a jolly, off your face. Just you. Do not pose. You’re not doing a spread in Playgirl magazine, remove the sunglasses and keep the shirt on. Selfies aren’t a complete no no but the duck face has to go.
Actually describe yourself. What you do, what you like, how you like to socialize. Keep it light hearted. Don’t write a novel. Leave room for the ladies to ask questions and get to know you.
3. Shopping List:
DO NOT WRITE A SHOPPING LIST. So many of the guys profiles read like a girlfriend shopping list, she must be fit, like to drink, big boob, cook, up for a laugh, enjoy the cinema, risk taker, preferably brunette, etc. We are not item, products, things. Don’t list or treat us like that. And you haven’t been good enough this year for Santa to sort a gift that good out for you.
4. First Email:
Start simple and easy. A simple ‘Hello, how has your day been?’ can go a long way. Add in a little twist or character if you want but keep it short and sweet. When it’s an epic read (majority of the time a obvious copy and paste job) we probably don’t have the time and can’t be asked to read the full thing.
5. Keeping it interesting:
Make things interesting. Ask questions. Nothing worse than someone talking about their day-to-day life and not asking about yours. Don’t come on too strong. Asking, what do you look for in a man, how many children do you want, a summer or spring wedding, is just too much too soon. Grab a glass of wine first to soften the blow.
These are just a few opinions from my dating experience, and I am very sure there are many women out there that fail at the above guidelines. But at least I know if one person follows these steps, then that’s one less profile I need to delete from my phone and memory. Selfish much?