The SW Experts | Planes, Trains, Online Dating and You
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planes trains online dating and you

Planes, Trains, Online Dating and You


There are many pluses to online dating- convenience, simplicity and a wide array of assortment. The convenience factor alone is worth the price of admission, but there’s one hazard to online dating that gets overlooked. It’s a hazard that means no premeditated harm, and it’s a hazard we bring upon ourselves.

When we aren’t totally happy with the local inventory of potential dates, online dating sites make it very easy to increase our geographical radius. What happens when we like what’s available in a town not near?

Date shopping in other markets may begin innocently with a “let’s see who’s in Chicago!” or “wonder what the guys are like in Toronto…” You may or may not maintain willpower from reaching out to these people, even when the profiles are perfect for you. But the problem with window-shopping in this venue is that the merchandise can easily shop right back. The next thing you know, you’ll get a message from one of those far away, drool-worthy dates. Before you know it you’re having a conversation with someone that lives miles away from you. The conversation leads to a spark, and you then need to decide if you want to further investigate what could potentially be a spectacular inferno.

If you’re thinking of taking a jump into the deep end of the Travelocity dating pool, there are three basic things you need to keep in mind:

Before you turn your dating life into an episode of Househunters International, think about how far is too far.

If you’re seriously considering dating out of your zip code, you need to think about some basic parameters that are reasonable. Don’t ask yourself if you’re willing to travel for a first date- ask yourself if you’re willing to maintain repeated travel to your date’s home base. When increasing that search radius, you need to seriously consider if you’re willing to get on that particular merry-go-round and stay on it for the duration.

[Tweet “I can tell you that having a special someone on speed dial is a fantastic feeling #LongDistanceRelationship”]

There are a lot of perks to a long distance relationship. Having been in a long distance relationship

I can tell you that having a special someone on speed dial is a fantastic feeling. Thanks to Face Time, communication is easy, and you can see them as little or as much as you like. Having a boyfriend or girlfriend that you don’t see in person regularly gives you a lot of time to work on you, be it working extra hours for extra commuting money or spending additional time at the gym. When you spend time in the same physical space as your significant other, the time is precious, fun and hot. Long distance relationships allow you to easily maintain two major commitments simultaneously- one to your partner and one to yourself. We all know that when in a relationship that’s geographically friendly, we have to sometimes sacrifice our personal agenda in favor of the couple agenda. It’s way easier to balance thanks to distance.

But long distance relationships have their share of negatives.

Think of the movies you want to see, museum exhibits you want to visit and parties you want to attend. Chances are you’ll be doing the bulk of these activities solo. Grated, you can save the important activities for when your guy or gal is in town, but there will be those times they won’t be. Your only choice is to accept that and get use to it. You also need to accept that you’ll be missing those little things that couples in the same location take for granted, such as impromptu lunches, spontaneous dates or just a hug when you’re having a not so great day. Missing things like that can be torture, and you need to be ready and prepared to handle it.

Pros and cons considered, is pursuing a date with distance really worth it?

I’ve come to the conclusion that it really depends on the two people. I have a friend who just celebrated her 10th wedding anniversary, a relationship that started as long distance. They worked through the distance, “power-dated” whenever they were physically together and made the decision together that he’d move from LA to New York. They’re enjoying their happily ever after, just like the couples whose relationship started in the same town.

Is long distance dating a good thing for you? Only you can decide if you want to extend that online dating radius, and should do so only after giving it some deep consideration. Every love story has it’s own unique start- perhaps yours will include earning some frequent flyer points.