Do you pay attention to the red flags on a first date? How about the red flags when you are dating someone? Red flags are warnings that this person is not right for you! If you choose to ignore them and proceed with the relationship, you are accepting more heartache into your life. For a happier life – pay attention to the red flags.
- They get totally wasted on the first date and almost every time you go out with them. A potential mate, who doesn’t have a problem with drugs or alcohol, will be able to spend time with you sober. However, if you are constantly drunk and/or high – they are perfect for you.
- If your date talks about their ex for the majority of the conversations, they are not over their last relationship. You would be their rebound and a rebound relationship rarely last.
- Your potential partner wants to know how much money you make, what kind of car you drive, and if you own a home. They expect you to pay for everything and constantly wants you to buy them things. Gold-diggers behave this way.
- The person talks about sex constantly or is constantly trying to get into your pants. There is nothing wrong with having sex. BUT, if you are having sex with someone who never wants to have a conversation or go out for dinner, there is a problem. They are either a sex addict, married, or incapable of having a relationship.
- You are ready for a long term relationship or marriage. Perhaps, you want children. If your date says they don’t want a relationship or children – believe them. You are not the special one that you will magically change their minds. Instead, thank them for their honesty because they gave you the gift of not wasting your time. Move on and date someone else whose goals are compatible with yours.
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Now what about the more subtle red flags? As a relationship expert and psychic, I know that the subtle red flags are really your intuition warning you. Here is my personal definition of intuition – a soft, quick insights that makes no sense and usually doesn’t have any logical explanation or fact to it.
The following will give you an idea of intuitive red flags:
- I feel like he is hiding something.
- I just don’t trust her even though everyone else tells me how great she is.
- I don’t know why I instantly disliked them.
- I am so attracted to my date, but something feels off.
- I feel like she is lying.
- I get this feeling that he is cheating on me.
- I can’t explain why I don’t think he will call me, even though he said he would.
Did you notice that all of the above examples didn’t have any solid proof? While the obvious red flags did have proof. The important thing is not to poo-poo your intuition because nine times out of ten it is accurate. I can’t tell you how many times I heard my clients say, “I just knew (blah, blah), I wished I had listened to myself.” Please pay attention to your intuitive warnings.
Whether it is an obvious or intuitive red flag it is important to be kind and respectful of your date. I will use a personal example that happened to me a long time ago to illustrate this point.
I felt something was off about my blind date that I had after work. I asked a psychic co-worker about my potential date and she got one word – yuck. We had agreed to meet at the food court in the mall. I saw him at the agreed upon spot and my co-worker was right, he was total yuck! My first impulse was to blow him off because he had no idea what I looked like. Instead, I went over, said hello, and sat in awkward silence for ten minutes. We both agreed that this wasn’t going anywhere and I went off to shop.
Now some of you may wonder why I wasted ten minutes of my life. I would have felt devastated if someone did that to me. If I did leave, in the future, I would have received the same treatment. Most important of all – it is called social etiquette and good karma.
I hope that you will start to pay attention to all types of red flags to avoid bad relationships. My wish for you is to find the love of a lifetime!