The SW Experts | Straight Up or on the Rocks
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Straight Up or on the Rocks

straight up


He wants to buy her a drink and he doesn’t come in like a torpedo. Instead, he initiates a little chit chat, tries to make her laugh and she’s not having any of it. She’s either annoyed or amused in that “are you kidding me” kind of way. She’d rather dispense with the small talk which she sees as games. She wants him to get to the point. She obviously prefers hers straight up.

Meanwhile, in another bar far, far away he’s a torpedo. Shoot straight, shoot hard and execute. He tells her she’s very attractive, looks her straight in the eye, asks if she wants to go to a party he’s heading to, etc. She’s either annoyed or amused in that “are you kidding me” kind of way. She sees him as a literal torpedo that’s just going for the kill when she’d rather he initiate a conversation they can both invest in, wait until she gives him the sign to sit down, and, if it goes well, he will propose a proper date, etc. She likes hers on the rocks.

The clear difference in preference between these two women doesn’t nearly encompass the range of preferences women have in the brutal world of pick-ups. In fact, the same woman can often have different preferences depending on their trust factor and experiences.

Mary generally likes it straight up but the last person who served her that didn’t stick around. He was a player and thus the next person to come like that will make her skeptical and more cautious. She may now want someone that has to navigate more carefully, step over the creek, waddle through the cobblestone paths and climb the hills. Mary may currently prefer on the rocks.

And just how are men supposed to navigate this landmine? Well, for starters, try understanding your default. Are you more on the rocks or are you straight up? Also, understand the pros and cons with both techniques. Lastly, who is the person and what are the environmentals going on at the time?

Positive and successful dating is all about self-confidence and recognition of the person on the other side. We often try and approach dating and, in this case, pick-up techniques from our comforts and what has worked for us without realizing it’s all situation dependent. This is partly why I loathe generalistic dating advice. We’re more complicated than that. All women don’t want ‘this’ or react to ‘that’.

At the end of the day you are who you are (straight up or on the rocks) and knowing that is half the battle. You fancy yourself adept at understanding ‘what women want’ and your approach to picking one up is a direct reflection of that. How’s that working out for you?