It’s not easy to tell if the person that you are dating is a narcissist, especially in the beginning of the relationship. Narcissists appear compassionate, attentive and romantic. The relationship takes off quickly and before you know it you have fallen head over heels in love.
The obvious signs of a narcissist are simple to spot: Lack of empathy, grandiose plans and haughtiness, narcissistic rage that erupts when the mention that they aren’t perfect is noted. Narcissists also have a need for constant and excessive admiration.
Here are 8 early warning signs that you are dating a narcissist.
1. “I WANT WHAT I WANT”
Narcissists are extremely selfish and need to feel in control. Their sense of entitlement and superiority allows them to believe that they deserve to have what they want at all times. They will disguise their hidden agenda with manipulation or passive aggressive behavior.
2. LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX
Since narcissists are selfish and entitled in their everyday life, this behavior transfers into bedroom. There are two types of narcissists in the bedroom. The first type of narcissist believes their partner is just an object to fulfill their needs. Your satisfaction doesn’t matter. If you bring up the fact that you aren’t satisfied, they will blame it on you and will tell you that “every other partner they have been with has always been satisfied.”
The second type of narcissists are Casanova’s in the bedroom. They are megastars at pleasing their partners, but their motives are selfish. Sex to them is a performance act. The bedroom is their stage and they are the star of the show. Your pleasure is an ego boost and confirmation of their superior talent and skills.
3.“I’M GOOD AT EVERYTHING I DO”
Narcissists are the best at everything they do-just ask them! Again, there are two types of narcissists, and both are very intelligent and motivated by a need for importance. The first type of narcissist’s economic and living situation is a tell-tale sign. This type of narcissist is the person who does a lot couch surfing or lives with their parents. They often end up at a job beneath their ability level with a litany of reasons that they are not to blame for their present circumstance.
The second type of narcissist is an overachiever and appears to conform to societal rules. In reality, they use manipulation tactics to advance their objectives while they climb their way up the corporate ladder.
4. THEY ALWAYS KNOW THE RIGHT THING TO SAY
Narcissists appear to be supportive and loving and always know just what to say… except when they have done something wrong. The higher functioning narcissist is socially adept and works hard at creating an admirable persona. In acquaintance relationships, they are very likable. In intimate relationships, they are selfish and believe their needs and desires should always come first. They will say all the right things if you are doing your “job” correctly and providing them with the praise and attention that they expect.
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5. THEY HAVE NO REAL FRIENDS
Narcissists are known for having many acquaintances due to their innate charm and perceptive social skills. Beyond that, they only have the ability to maintain casual friendships and have no long-term friends. It’s important to observe how your partner acts around their friends and people who have known them for a long period of time. This will give you valuable insight into they really are.
6. “YOU ARE THE ONE”
Narcissists are famous for coming on strong and showering you with attention and flattery…at first. They will claim that “you are the one” and advance the relationship at a swift pace. This is one of the biggest red flags that you’re dealing with a narcissist, but most people are often so taken by all of the attention and adoration that they fail to see the warning signs.
7. FRAGMENTED CHILDHOOD MEMORIES
Most narcissists will tell you that they had a horrible childhood. When securely attached people speak of their childhoods, they will provide a lot of detail. The narcissist’s version of their childhood will not make sense, appearing contradictory. You will find gaps in their stories. Some narcissists go the opposite direction and paint the perfect family picture, but their accounts will be fragmented and filled with ambiguity.
8. ME TOO!
Narcissists have no real self. This is why in the beginning of relationship they tend to mirror their partner’s likes, values and beliefs. Narcissists know that ultimately they will attempt to control you. In order to that do that, they first have to build a connection with you and gain your trust. You will hear a lot of “me too’s” from your narcissist.
If you are reading this, you likely suspect that your partner is a narcissist. You probably have been searching for that definitive confirmation to put an end to your questioning and provide you with the clarity and conviction that you need to give you the confidence to end the relationship. If this is the case, I hope you have found your answer here.