He’s too this or too that! She’s too short or too fat! They’re too old or too young! Too smart or just too dumb! Ah yes the dreaded list! The list we were told to create and then release to the universe and BOOM! Mr. or Mrs. Right is served. Enough already! How many of us create lists for almost every single aspect of our lives? We create a list to remember the things we need to do, so that we don’t forget the things we need to do. We create lists to go grocery shopping. Well let’s wait a minute here. We need that list or we might forget we’re out of alcohol. It’s a New Year and I’m sure some of you have already started to make your “New Year New Me” lists and goals. There is absolutely nothing wrong with using a list as a guide to help you stay on track when achieving your goals. Although, when it comes to dating and relationships here are three reasons why you might want to throw “the list” away.
Throwing away your list doesn’t mean you lower your standards: Standards and lists are not created equal. Standards are completely healthy, and should be your guide in the dating world. When creating our lists sometimes we’re leading from the superficial “I” only level. He needs to make six figures, drive a new car, and have a nine-inch penis. Does he really ladies? Let’s not forget about the gents who want perky breasts, legs of a stallion, and she must cook seven days a week. Setting character standards and not ego-based lists will allow you to date with a healthy purpose. Create a list based on qualitative stats and not quantitative ones.
Sadly, your list is keeping you single:
Some of us are single by choice. There are times in our lives when being single is the best thing we can do for ourselves. Not everyone has to be in a relationship to feel complete. I’m not talking to those people right now. I’m talking to those who know that the list they’ve created was designed by them to keep love at bay and keep their guards up. If years go by, and you’re still following the list you created five years ago we have a problem. Hopefully by now you’re not the same person you were when you sat down on that one lonely and rainy night to write it. In 2016 it’s not helping you find the love you need and crave. It’s keeping you from seeing all the available people around you because it’s an old, out-dated, and downright egotistical list. Let it go and let love in.
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When you lead from your heart you don’t need a list:
Seeing people for who they truly are will eliminate the need for following your list. Love isn’t something that you order, and Chef Cupid isn’t baking up a masterpiece romance dish for you in passion kitchen. Allowing yourself to remain open and accepting can actually lead you to a greater love. By following your list you may have missed the gorgeous beauty you see every day in passing, but because she has tattoos you’re not going to ask her out. Deviating from your list will help you to try something excitingly new and different.
So out with the old and in with the new! Throw away the list and lead from your heart! Happy New Year!