The SW Experts | Time Machine
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Time Machine

time machine

Time Travel Ticket to Singleville

Many movies and several songs make time travel so appealing. Michael J. Fox made time travel look like a blast behind the wheel of a Delorean. Christopher Reeve and Jane Seymour’s time travel experiences render it to be the most romantic concept ever. Cher’s lyrics make turning back time look easier than re-loading your Starbucks card- if you could just find a way.

Some of us find ourselves in a story of time travel that’s not so great- being single again. And it happened without dipping one toe into the Hot Tub Time Machine.

When our stories take an unexpected 90-degree turn, how do we handle the re-write?

Being cast in the leading role in our own personal version of Hot Tub Time Machine is downright frightening. The thought of being single again and the struggles that accompany this new/old role never entered my mind. I was 100% convinced that my last relationship was my “forever home”, but things happened. Things changed. He changed, and although I still loved him very much, his likability quotient dropped to non-existent. What I thought was a blissful partnership shattered like a dropped champagne flute, and I was left with the challenge of cleaning up the shards of glass without causing further hemorrhaging.

Reality handed me the keys to that magic Delorean, but it’s not always so easy to sit in the driver’s seat. Fear and sadness prevented me from starting the car. I was paralyzed to the point I couldn’t even get in the car. In spite of fearing the unknown, I knew I had to get on the road. I knew I had to get over that defeated feeling. Most importantly, I knew I had to get on the road to escape the depressing place I found myself.

[Tweet “Finding yourself unexpectedly single is a tragedy from which it seems impossible to rebound.”]Madonna also performed a song about time, and I found her words quite helpful. She sings that “Time goes by so slowly, and I’m hung up on you”. But as the Material Girl continued her story, she comes full circle and sings, “Waiting for your call Baby night and day, I’m fed up- I’m tired of waiting for you”. This was a progression I could embrace. I was also tired of waiting. Waiting for him to change his ways. Waiting for him to realize that our relationship was worth the fight. I came to the most difficult realization of all… I realized that I was waiting alone. Like Madonna, I was fed up. If my unexpected dip in the Hot Tub Time Machine was taking me back to being single, I wasn’t going to waste one more moment of being single with him in my head.

Before I put the pedal to the medal in the Delorean, I knew that I had to make like Madonna and reinvent myself. I did things I liked doing, made dinners I liked eating, and I went to the gym. I went to the gym a lot, which gave me a great excuse to buy some new clothes. I wore those clothes when I would meet new friends for coffee or dates for a drink after work. Before I knew it, I was living the final lyric of Madonna’s song- “Ring, ring, ring goes the telephone, the lights are on, but there’s no one home… I’m done. I’m hanging up on you”.

It took some work on my end, but those keys to the Delorean started to feel pretty darned good in my pocket. With confidence, I can tell you that those keys will feel great in yours too.

Finding yourself unexpectedly single is a tragedy from which it seems impossible to rebound. It doesn’t seem like it when it’s fresh, but the fact is that all tragedies are followed by recovery. You WILL recover from a breakup. Everyone experiences breakup recovery at their own pace, just like their former relationship developed at it’s own pace. When it’s your time to get in the driver’s seat and begin your journey forward, I hope you’re prepared for one hell of a memorable road trip!

Be sure to bring along some music- I suggest a little Madonna.